


Pride and Prejudice and Wizards

by schmulte



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, F/M, I'm pretending gay marriage was legal in the 19th century sorry not sorry, Jilytober 2020, M/M, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27019642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schmulte/pseuds/schmulte
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.Pride and prejudice au. Wolfstar and Jily.For jilytober!
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	1. Let at Last

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I haven't been very active lately but quarantine is boring so here we are! There will be slight variances from the original story, but it will still follow it rather closely!  
> P.S. please don't judge me for my grammar or writing style, I'm just a tired college student trying to relieve some stress with fanfic :)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. At least, that’s what Petunia always said.  
  
Lily Evans of Cokesworth did not accept this truth, no matter how much her sister believed in it. The Evans sisters were quite different in this way. Though close in age, Petunia and Lily found themselves separated by their differing opinions. Petunia, ever the pragmatist, believed in a more logical approach to most matters, and disagreed with Lily most vehemently on the subject of marriage.  
  
Today’s discussion of the topic was brought on by none other than Petunia herself, who had just returned from a brisk morning walk judging from her beet red face and labored breathing. Lily tried to contain her laugh as she watched her sister barge her way into the sitting room, nearly knocking a rather sentimental vase off its pedestal. Mr. Evans, quite used to his daughters’ flare for the dramatic, did not bother take his eyes off of his newspaper as he spoke in a calm manner.  
  
“What is it this time, Petunia?” He asked. Petunia Evans, unfazed by her father’s aloofness, marched straight over to Mr. Evans and sat herself in the loveseat directly next to his reading chair.  
“Grimmauld Place has been let at last!” The older Evans sister exclaimed.  
  
  
In a different context, this sentence would be considered rather ordinary, and nothing to warrant the excitement spoken with the phrase. In this particular setting, however, this news was enough to pique the interest of the ladies of the Evans family, along with the rest of the town. Grimmauld Place , a rather fine estate settled some five miles from the Evans’ household, had stood empty ever since its previous tenants vacated over half a century ago. It did not take much sense to make the educated guess that whoever had purchased Grimmauld Place was very wealthy indeed, as the estate was rather grand and in no doubt expensive. Lily, the sensible girl that she was, found herself peering over the top of the book in her hands and raising an eyebrow at her sister.  
  
“Grimmauld Place?” The younger Evans questioned. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Yes, I’m sure,” Petunia snapped at her sister with a tone of irritability. “For I ran into Molly Weasley while on my walk and she told me all about it.”  
  
The room was silent for a moment as Petunia eagerly awaited a response, though none came. She cleared her throat and leaned closer to her father, who still had not taken his eyes off of his newspaper.  
  
“Papa? Do you want to know who has taken it?”  
  
“You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it,” came the reply of Mr. Evans. This was invitation enough for Petunia, who was practically bursting with excitement.  
  
“Well Papa, Mrs. Weasley says that Grimmauld Place is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England. He came down on Monday accompanied by two others, and was ever so delighted with it. He is to take possession by the end of the week!”  
  
“And what is his name?” Lily posed, mildly curious about their new neighbor, though she’d never tell Petunia that.  
  
“Black.”  
  
“And is he married or single?” This question was from Mr. Evans, who had guessed this to be the source of his daughter's enthusiasm.  
  
“Why single of course!” Lily commented. “Otherwise our dear Tuny would have no interest in our new neighbor.” Petunia, who considered herself a lady, would tell you that the pillow that came into contact with her sister’s face subsequently was simply a product of a draft from the window. Lily’s face may disagree with this statement.  
  
“He does happen to be single,” Petunia continued. “And of quite a large fortune- four or five thousand galleons a year. What a fine thing for us.” Mr. Evans finally shut his newspaper and settled it on his lap, peering at Petunia now over the top of his reading spectacles.  
“Any why is that, my dear?”  
  
“I suspect Petunia has a mind to marry Mr. Black, papa. I don’t know why she would entertain the idea, as we are of little wealth and importance whilst he seems a great gentleman.” Clearly frustrated with her family, Petunia soldiered on in her attempt to convey her point.  
  
“It is because of our circumstances that we must seize this opportunity, sister,” Petunia explained quite slowly, as if speaking to a child. “A man of such a large fortune is just the thing our family needs. Papa, you’ll go and speak to him, won’t you? When he comes?”  
  
Mr. Evans, obviously not thrilled with the prospect of meeting their new neighbor (as Mr. Evans, though a jolly fellow, despised small talk and making acquaintances) chose his words carefully as he addressed his eldest daughter.  
  
“We shall see, my dear, after I consult your mother.” This reply, though not nearly satisfactory enough, was all Petunia knew she would get from her father. With a disgruntled huff, she rose from her seat and retreated to her room. Mr. Evans, satisfied to have peace back, resumed his reading.  
  
“When will mama be home, papa?” Lily queried. Mr. Evans casually turned a page, unbothered by his wife’s lateness.  
“She’ll be about,” was his calm reply. “Probably searching for the perfect hat for the assembly and lost track of time.”  
  
“She does have an affinity for hats.” The younger Evans agreed. “Are you really planning to speak to mama? Regarding Mr. Black?”  
  
“I have every intention of consulting your mother, my dear. When this may happen, on the other hand…”  
  
“Papa, you cannot be serious! You must speak with her at once, or Petunia will be in utter distress!”  
  
Mr. Evans flashed a sly, mischievous smile from behind his newspaper.  
  
“Ah yes, I suppose I could act swiftly and spare your sister’s nerves. But where’s the fun in that?”


	2. Barely Tolerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **update** I made a small change to this chapter!  
> It's time for the first ball! Three connections will be made that will seal the fate of the marauders and the Evans sisters. This chapter is where the first alteration of the plot comes in so please don't be disappointed that I changed it a bit. I am preparing for a Gen Chem exam so I'm sorry for any mistakes! Hope you enjoy :)

The week came and went with an air of anticipation hanging over the town. Mr. Black arrived at Grimauld Place on Saturday. Word had gotten around about his 5,000 galleons a year, it was said that he would be attending the ball at the assembly hall in a fortnight with another eligible gentleman, who was even wealthier than Mr. Black. The shops found themselves suddenly overrun with young ladies in search of new ribbons and hats for the ball. Petunia had dragged Lily with her to at least 10 different shops before finding the perfect accessories to match their best dresses. Lily didn’t care much for Mr. Black or his 5,000 a year, but she did love a ball, and so tolerated her sister’s shopping habits.  
  
Petunia, who had been in high spirits ever since her mother and father had agreed to call upon Mr. Black, found herself disappointed when her father arrived home. It had been a rather short meeting, though not for a lack of enjoyment. Mr. Evans found Mr. Black a charming young man, though a little flamboyant. He seemed to make a good impression, as Mr. and Mrs. Evans were invited to tea soon after. The young ladies were not invited, a detail that had Petunia pouting for quite some time. To add to her dampened spirits, Mr. Evans disclosed to the ladies of the household that Mr. Black would not be marrying either of them due to an affinity for those of his own sex.  
  
“Though I am assured that he will be accompanied by another young gentleman, who I’m sure would be delighted with your company.” Mr. Evans had said. Lily earned herself a kick in the shin when she was unable to contain her laughter at Petunia’s disappointed expression.  
  
Lily imagined it must be rather awkward, knowing an entire town had their hopes pinned on him marrying one of their children. She was not surprised at all that he hardly left Grimmauld Place. According to her mother, he left the house once only to be swarmed by young ladies hoping to make his acquaintance. She imagined her father, the odd man he was, must have been a nice change in company.  
  
The evening of the ball, Lily could barely tolerate Petunia’s primping. She was flitting about like an extremely irritated bird. Everything had to be perfect, and all she could discuss was how “you could meet the man you’re going to marry tonight, Lily” and “don’t you want to live a comfortable life?” However much Lily wanted to help her family, who would benefit from a favorable match, she held the idyllic notion that if she was going to be tethered to someone for life, she needed to love them. She was of the opinion that it was better to be happy and poor than rich and miserable, an opinion that aggravated her sister to no end.  
  
“Honestly Lily, are you even going to try and look decent?” Petunia snapped at her. Lily was rather offended, seeing as she believed she looked perfectly acceptable. This was apparently wrong, as Petunia pointed out by aggressively taking over Lily’s maintenance of her hair. She had treated herself to new ribbons, a pale green color to match her eyes. Though she was pale, lanky, and freckled, her eyes were always the subject of compliments.  
  
Reluctant as she was to admit it, Petunia had done an excellent job. She had intricately piled Lily's hair in a dark red mass atop her head, the green ribbon threaded through her curls. She wore her best gown, a delicate white frock tied at the waist with a green ribbon to match the one in her hair. Petunia had even convinced Lily to put on her finest jewelry, a pearl necklace with earrings to match. They had been a gift from her mother for her first ball, a hand-me-down from Mrs. Evans’ youth. After what seemed like ages, the family of four finally climbed their way into the coach and set on their way to the assembly hall.  
  
The hall was crowded, lit up with hundreds of candles and a band playing from the ballroom. Mr. and Mrs. Evans bade their daughters to behave as the group separated in the ballroom. Lily took the first opportunity she had to escape Petunia, leaving her in the company of a rather old gentleman who insisted she join him in a dance.  
  
Lily searched the hundreds of faces for anyone familiar. It seemed impossible, the hall was too busy and loud. But then, Lily caught a glimpse of familiar tawny brown hair that caused her to break out into a smile.  
  
“Remus!”  
  
Her friend turned to meet her at the call of his name, his anxious look transforming as he met her gaze. Remus Lupin was sporting his usual ball outfit, which even for his best was not altogether impressive. His brown coat was faded and patched, and his waistcoat missing several buttons. Even still, Lily thought her best friend the most handsome man in all the ballroom, and told him so as she looped her arm through his affectionately.  
  
“I didn’t know you were coming!” Remus shouted in her ear over the music.  
  
“You know I’d never miss the opportunity to dance with you, Remus.” Remus rolled his eyes at this, but Lily noticed the smile that still lingered on his lips.  
  
“I wouldn’t call it dancing so much as an awkward shuffling,” he retorted. Lily made to quip back a sarcastic comment, but stopped when she noticed that no one else in the room was talking. Everyone had gone silent, the band’s viola screeching to a halt as everyone turned their heads in the direction of whatever made them go silent.  
  
Two men were standing in front of the doorway to the ballroom. A lanky young man with long dark hair and humorous gray eyes was standing in front, sporting one of the finest-albeit flamboyant-waistcoats Lily had ever seen. He wore a rather large ring on his right hand, imprinted with what anyone close could see was the Black family crest. So it was true, Mr. Black was to attend the ball, with his eligible friend as promised. Lily thought it was rather pompous of the two to simply stand at the entrance, as if they were relishing being the center of attention.  
  
“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Lily whispered to Remus.  
  
“Dramatic or not, you have to admit they’re rather fit.” Came his reply. “Do you see the one a little behind? I hear he makes 10,000 galleons a year.”  
  
Though Lily didn’t care much for how much he made (even if it was an impressive number) she had to admit that he was rather handsome despite his obviously bored expression. It appeared he hadn't even attempted at grooming himself, his brown locks appearing more of a bird's nest than hair, and an obvious five-o'clock-shadow around his jaw. His piercing hazel eyes narrowed from behind spectacles. The only presentable aspect of his appearance was his clothes, which Lily guessed he may not have picked out himself, judging by his apparent lack of care for these things. If she had guessed Mr. Black had been the one to dress his friend, she would have been right. He wore a fine waistcoat, as fine as his friend's, and it fit perfectly to his muscular form. She had to slap Remus on the arm when she heard him sniggering at her staring.  
  
The group of men made their way forward through the room until they were face-to-face with the host of the party, Mr. Albus Dumbledore. After a moment of stiff silence, Mr. Dumbledore shook a friendly hand with Mr. Black and welcomed him to the ball. The tension in the hall seemed to break- the band began to play a merry tune and the guests went back to their socializing and dancing.  
  
Lily found herself being approached swiftly by Petunia, who sported a rather determined look. With barely a word, she took hold of her sister’s free arm and pulled her over to their parents, Remus reluctantly in tow. The three of them joined Mr. and Mrs. Evans in the corner of the room, and found that they came face-to-face with the trio of men.  
  
“Ah, there you are,” Mr. Evans said, gesturing to his daughters and Remus. “Mr. Black, allow me to introduce you and your friend to my daughters Lillian and Petunia, as well as their friend, Mr. Remus Lupin.”  
  
The two groups made polite bows and curtsies to each other. Mr. Black flashed a charming smile and shook Mr. Evans' hand.  
  
“A pleasure, I’m sure. May I introduce Mr. James Potter, my best friend and closest confidant.” There was another exchange of pleasantries at the introduction.  
  
“Are you finding Grimmauld Place to your liking, Mr. Black?” Remus inquired.  
  
“Oh yes. I find the countryside rather refreshing. Don’t you agree, James?” Mr. Potter seemed rather put off at having to answer his friend. Mr. Black seemed amused by his friend's antisocial behavior.  
  
“Yes. Quite refreshing.”  
  
Noticing the tension, Mr. and Mrs. Evans gave their polite goodbyes and set off to find their friends, with Petunia following suit.  
Now that they were up close, Lily noticed that Mr. Potter looked rather uncomfortable indeed. He was incessantly fiddling with his hair, and he tapped his foot as if impatient to leave. Lily did not think she had seen someone look so reluctant to do anything anywhere, especially at such a festive occasion as a ball.  
  
“Do you not find the festivities to your liking, Mr. Potter?” Lily teased. She earned a harsh jab to her ribs from Remus, but the mortified look on Mr. Potter’s face was entirely worth it. He swallowed thickly and moved his hand from his hair to push up his spectacles.  
  
“On the contrary, Miss Evans,” he replied coolly. “I find the ball quite pleasant. What could possibly make you think otherwise?” Lily was saved from embarrassing herself with a snarky comment by Remus.  
  
“Mr. Black, would you and your friend perhaps like to join us for the next quadrille?” He interjected. Mr. Black smiled slyly at Remus and offered his hand.  
  
“I’d be delighted. And please, call me Sirius.” He glanced at his friend for a moment before kissing Remus’s outstretched hand. “Please excuse James and I for just a moment first.”  
  
Mr. Potter opened his mouth to speak, but was whisked away too quickly to make his statement. Lily shot Remus a quizzical look.  
  
“What do you think his problem is?” She pondered. Her friend merely shrugged.  
  
“Rich boys.” He sighed.  
  
Sirius led James some several feet away from Lily and Remus and held his arm tightly so his friend could not break away. Lily strained her ears against the noise of the hall to hear what the two were speaking about.  
  
“Come on, Prongsy,” Sirius teased. “You can’t just brood in the corner all night. I must have you dance.”  
  
“I’m afraid your efforts are wasted, Padfoot,” she heard James say with a hint of irritation in his voice. “I was not born with your talent for dance, and besides, you know how much I detest it, especially when I have not been properly acquainted with my partner.”  
  
“You think too highly of yourself, James! I have never met so many pretty girls in my life as I have this evening, and that’s saying a lot, coming from me.”  
  
“I’m afraid you’re dancing with the most handsome partner in the room.” James retorted.  
  
“Oh come now, Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed, earning a strong shush from his friends. “His friend Miss Evans seems a lovely girl who may find even your ugly mug attractive .” Sirius earned a rough smack on the shoulder for that comment, and Lily and Remus had to hide their laughter so as not to be caught. They quickly hid their faces as James glanced their way.  
  
“She’s perfectly tolerable,” James replied, turning his gaze back to his friend. “But not handsome enough to tempt me. You’d best return to your partner, your time is wasted on me.”  
  
Lily immediately lost track of their conversation as she turned back to Remus. His mouth was agape and his eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his head. Lily, on the contrary, looked more murderous than shocked. Who did James potter think he was? As if she would even consider dancing with someone so prideful.  
  
“Tosser.” She grumbled under her breath.  
  
She and Remus were re-joined by the two men, the mischievous smile still on Sirius’s lips as he took Remus’s hand and lead them to the dance floor. James stood awkwardly beside Lily, a sour look on his handsome face. The youngest Evans rolled her eyes and watched her friend on the floor. He did appear to be having a great deal of fun with Sirius, and the sight of him laughing and dancing lifted her spirits somewhat.  
  
“They do seem quite the pair.” She commented. James merely grunted in response, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. Lily noticed the image of a stag embroidered on the collar of his waistcoat, completely unnoticeable from a distance, and only visible from this distance due to the stark contrast of the golden thread against the dark red material of the waistcoat. Lily guessed it may have something to do with his nickname Prongs, but could not recall any family within the county who sported a stag crest. James seemed to notice her peering, and met her eye with a quizzical look and a single eyebrow raised.  
  
“Alright, Miss Evans?” He questioned. Lily felt a blush creeping at her cheeks and quickly turned her gaze back to the dance floor where she watched for at least an hour. James had not spoken a word since Remus and Sirius had left for their first dance, instead opting to stand stiff as a board with a haughty, bored expression. Lily was grateful when she was approached by hr friend Alice and whisked away. Mr. Potter moved for the first time in an hour to give the two ladies a polite bow and retreated to a corner of the ballroom. Remus danced the rest of the night with Sirius and was so invested in his dancing that Lily did not have the opportunity to speak to him before she was fetched by Petunia to leave.  
  
“Papa,” Lily protested as she and Petunia approached their parents outdoors. “I really would have liked to have said goodbye to Remus.”  
  
“Nonsense, Lily,” Petunia scolded. “Remus was much too occupied in his dance with Mr. Black, it would be most improper to interrupt them.”  
  
Lily, who had been friends with Remus since their childhood, knew her friend would not have minded being interrupted to say goodbye. Still, she supposed Petunia was not entirely incorrect. Remus, much like Lily, was also of little wealth and consequence and required a prosperous marriage to ensure a comfortable life for his family. Perhaps that was why he and Lily were such close friends, the pressure of their little lives bringing them together.  
  
“I am quite delighted with Mr. Black,” her mother commented as they filed into the coach. “he seems a charming fellow, and so handsome! What a fine match for Remus. His friend, Mr. Potter, on the other hand…”  
  
Lily took this opportunity to relay what she had overheard from James at the ball. Petunia, who was likely more offended by the rude manners than on the behalf of her sister, was absolutely appalled. She stuck her nose up and folded her arms across the chest after Lily had finished relaying her tale.  
  
“I can assure you, Lily,” she spoke with an air of superiority. “that you do not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He did not dance for even one song, and instead sulked in a corner the whole night, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with! I wish I had known, I would have bade Papa to give him a set down. I quite detest the man.” With that, she stuck up her nose and picked up a book, and the topic of Mr. Potter was not mentioned again.  
  



	3. A Pair of Fine Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is falling fast for Sirius, and James is starting to realize Lily may not be as bad as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a small edit to the story, so I suggest you go back and re-read chapter 2 to avoid later confusion!

A week had passed since the ball and Lily still hadn’t spoken to Remus. When they were finally alone, the pair of them ventured to the farm house at the edge of the property for some privacy from Petunia's prying eyes. They sat on the straw-covered floor as Remus, typically cautious of praise, expressed to his friend how much he admired Mr. Black.  
  
“He is so perfect, Lily,” he said. “I’ve never met any man as charming.”  
  
“You’ve never met a man as handsome either.” Lily teased. Remus didn’t take the time to come up with a sarcastic retort, too invested in the topic of Mr. Black.  
  
“I can’t believe he didn’t dance with anyone else besides me.”  
  
“I can. It was the natural thing to do, he couldn’t help seeing that you were more handsome than every other man in the room. You have my permission to like him.” Remus blushed and gave Lily a light shove on the shoulder.  
  
“Thank you for the permission,” he quipped. Then, more seriously, “Are you sure you’re alright with this? His friend was so rude to you, and they seem rather close...” Lily rolled her eyes and wrapped her friend up in a tight hug that made him gasp dramatically for air.  
  
“If being forced to interact with Mr. Potter for the rest of my life is what it takes to make you happy, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”  
  
  
  
Mr. Black inherited property to the amount of nearly a hundred thousand galleons from his father when he passed. Though he had left home at the age of sixteen and had not spoken to his family in many years, by law Sirius was made the beneficiary of his father’s will. He and James had a steady friendship between, which only strengthened when James took him in. Having spent so many years as a part of the Potter household, it was only natural that Sirius would insist James join him at his new estate.  
  
Though they both had a penchant for mischief making and shared a high regard for the other’s judgements and opinions, the two of them had stark differences in their character. Mr. Black had an easy disposition which allowed him to charm everyone he met. He was able to hide disdain for others behind a cool demeanor and was wise in choosing his battles. In contrast, Mr. Potter, though fiercely loyal to his friends, was awkward in the presence of strangers. He was also not a man who had complete control over his temper and would often throw himself into fights in defense of his friends that he had no possibility of winning. This often ended in Sirius going home with a broken nose after pulling James out of a fight. It was this loyalty that Sirius took advantage of in insisting he and James attend a large party at the household of the McKinnons (who happened to be old friends of the Potter family, though James had never met them) in a fortnight.  
  
“Come on, Prongs!” Sirius had whined. “We need to socialize with our new neighbors. I love you, mate, but I can't survive with only your pompous self for company.”  
  
This comment lead to over an hour of wrestling, by the end of which James had been convinced to attend. Sirius, who had been corresponding with Remus via letter since the first ball, confirmed his attendance and took care to make sure he and James looked presentable. They arrived late to the ball, having spent a considerable amount of time trying and failing to tidy James’s hair. Couples were dancing in a lively manner, and appeared more casual in this setting, perhaps because of the hosts being so well-liked and familiar to the majority of their guests. James and Sirius were severely overdressed, which did not faze Mr. Black at all, but left Mr. Potter feeling even more awkward than usual.  
  
Sirius had spotted Remus right away and gave James some friendly advice (“Get that miserable look off your face and go dance with a pretty girl!”) before abandoning his friend for the dance floor. Mr. Potter found himself stranded and retreated to his typical spot observing the dancing from the corner of the room. However, for some reason, he found himself moving around the room after spotting Lily Evans.  
  
The young Miss Evans found herself an object of interest in the eyes of Mr. Potter. Though he had scarcely allowed her to be pretty and had looked at her without admiration at the ball, and had made it clear to himself and his friend that she had hardly a good feature in her face, he found himself noting the intelligent and beautiful expression in her curious green eyes. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one flaw in her smile, now he was forced to acknowledge no flaw at all. He noticed her long red hair had come loose from its updo, and wondered what it would feel like to run his hands through it.  
  
But of course, to these thoughts Lily was perfectly unaware. To her, he was only the man who made himself disagreeable wherever he went, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with. She was, however, aware of his keen eyes observing her as she spoke with her friend Alice Longbottom.  
  
“What does Mr. Potter mean,” she said to Alice. “by listening to my conversations?”  
  
“I’m afraid that’s a question which only Mr. Potter can answer.” Her friend replied. “Though I dare it is not in a menacing way. He looks rather like a lost puppy. Perhaps he’d like to ask you for a dance, but is too nervous?” This earned a laugh from Lily.  
  
“Believe me, Alice, I know what Mr. Potter thinks of me and my dancing, and I can assure you it is not that.”  
  
Mr. Potter, appearing to have no intention of actually engaging Miss Evans in a conversation, stood near them in silence, contemplating why he had not noticed before how Lily’s eyes appeared to sparkle in the light. He was much too engrossed by his own thoughts to perceive that Mr. Frank Longbottom had approached his side.  
  
“What a charming amusement for young people this is, don’t you agree Mr. Potter?” This sudden speech made James jump and he swore under his breath at being surprised, but Mr. Longbottom continued on without noticing his neighbor’s angry disposition.  
  
“There is nothing like dancing after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished societies.”  
  
“Certainly, sir.” James replied. “Though I’m afraid I take no pleasure from it.”  
  
Mr. Longbottom only smiled. “Your friend certainly seems to enjoy it,” he continued after a pause, nodding his head towards Remus and Sirius.  
  
“My friend has a natural talent for the art which I do not possess, sir.”  
  
Mr. Longbottom, with his cheery disposition, simply chuckled. At that instant, he spotted his wife and Miss Evans near them, and called out to them.  
  
“My dear Alice, you must join me for this next song. And you, Miss Evans, why are you not dancing? Mr. Potter, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when such beauty is before you.” Taking her hand, he made to give it to Mr. Potter- who, though surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, if Lily had not instantly drawn it back.  
  
“Indeed sir, I have the least intention of dancing,” she said to Mr. Longbottom. “And I am sure Mr. Potter will be able to find a much more suitable partner than myself.”  
  
James could not ignore the harsh tone in her voice and the narrowing of her eyes that pierced his soul. With a clear of his throat and a nervous shakiness, he requested to be allowed the honor of her hand, but this was in vain. Lily was determined, and though she would normally take pleasure in joining Alice and Frank, it was not enough to make her tolerate the company of Mr. Potter.  
  
“You excel so much in this dance, Miss Evans,” Frank reasoned. “It is cruel to deny Alice and I the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection now.”  
  
“Mr. Potter is all politeness,” said Lily, now smiling, though somewhat forcefully.  
  
“He is indeed, but considering the inducement of your company, my dear Miss Evans, we cannot help but wonder at his objections, for who would object to such a partner?”  
  
Lily shot Mr. Potter a fierce look, which told him that she could think of many reasons for this, before turning away. Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom were soon swept up in a lively dance and were replaced by Remus and Sirius, who returned to their respective friends. Sirius observed James with a mischievous smile on his face, and said in an amused voice -  
  
“I know what you’re thinking.”  
  
“And what is that, Padfoot?”  
  
“You are considering how dull it must be to pass the evenings in this manner in this society, and I couldn’t agree more. I have never been more annoyed! Oh, what I would give to hear you criticize the stupidity of all this forever!” Sirius put a dramatic hand to his head and pretended to faint onto his friend. James pushed him off, but couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his lips.  
  
“Come off it, Padfoot. I’m not that much of a prat.” He paused, and allowed his eyes to briefly wander over to Lily, who was laughing with Remus. He had never heard such a lovely laugh in his life, and wished that she would laugh like that for him before quickly focusing his attention back on Sirius. “And besides, your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more…agreeably engaged.”  
  
“Oh?” said Sirius, now looking more amused than ever. “Do tell, Prongs.”  
  
“I was just…meditating. On the very great pleasure a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.”  
  
“Mhm. And does this pair of fine eyes happen to belong to Miss Lily Evans?” James’s face went beet red and his hand shot up to play nervously with his hair.  
  
“Of course not,” he lied. “what would make you think such a thing?”  
  
“Just a feeling,” Sirius replied, unconvinced. “Now come on. We must be polite gentleman and say goodbye to the McKinnons, or your mother will have both our heads.”


	4. The Stay at Grimmauld Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is invited to Grimmauld Place, but everything doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made minor edits because I realized I kept writing Godrick's Hollow instead of Cokesworth because I'm an idiot

Mr. Evans’ property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand galleons a year, which, unfortunately for his daughters, was entailed to their closest male relative, who was not close at all, but rather an extremely distant relation. Their mother’s fortune, though ample for her situation in life, was not enough to make up for the loss of their father’s- her father had been an attorney, and had left her four thousand galleons. She had a sister married to a Mr. Phillips, who had been a clerk to their father, and succeeded him in the business, and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade.  
  
The village of Hogsmead was only one mile from Cokesworth, a most convenient distance for the young ladies to pay visits to their aunt and the shops. Hogsmead was also a wonderful place to hear the latest gossip, and a walk to the town was often enough to amuse one’s morning hours and supply conversation for the evening with the most recent news. At present, the residents of Hogsmead and Cokesworth were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighborhood which was to remain in Hogsmead the whole winter. They could talk of nothing but officers and Mr. Black’s large fortune. After listening one morning to Lily and Remus discuss Mr. Black, Petunia Evans coolly observed:  
  
“From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest people in the country.”  
  
“Oh, come off it, Petunia,” said Lily, “You’re just jealous that Remus has such a promising match and we’re stuck with our pitiful prospects.”  
  
Petunia was prevented from replying with a rather rude remark by the entrance of the footman with a note for Mr. Lupin- it came from Grimmauld Place, and the servant waited for an answer.  
“Well, Remus?” Lily asked. “Who’s it from?”  
  
“It’s from Mr. Black,” said Remus, and then read it aloud.  
  
“My dear Mr. Lupin, I have suffered for almost a week without being in your presence and I fear if you do not take pity on me I will surely die- honestly, Lily, he’s so dramatic. Please dine with my friends and I at Grimmauld Place today. Come as soon as you can upon receiving this note. I await your speedy arrival with baited breath. Yours ever, Sirius Black.”  
  
“Oh Remus!” cried Lily. “He is so in love with you. You must go as soon as you can. Petunia, we could do with a brisk walk home, could Remus borrow the carriage?”  
  
“Absolutely not,” sneered Petunia. “It seems likely to rain, and unlike you I’d prefer not to trek through the mud all the way back to Cokesworth. Besides, perhaps if it does rain, he must stay all night, for I heard Mr. Black’s carriage is out of commission, and would not be able to take Remus home until tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh, Petunia, that’s cruel! Remus can’t go all that way on horseback.”  
  
“I’ll be okay, Lily,” Remus interrupted.  
  
“Remus, you can’t-“  
  
“Really, I’ll be fine. It looks like it’s clearing up anyway. I’ll send you a note when I get back tomorrow.”  
  
Unfortunately for Remus, the sky did not clear up. He had not been gone long before it rained hard. His friend was uneasy for him, and worried the whole time he was gone. The rain continued the whole evening without intermission- Remus certainly could not come back in this weather. Breakfast was scarcely over when a servant from Grimauld Place brought the following note for Lily-  
  
"My dearest Lily,  
  
I find myself very unwell this morning, which I suppose is due to my rather wet horseback ride yesterday. Please don’t be worried, I’ll be alright. Mr. Black would not hear of my returning home until I am better. I know I’m probably wasting ink asking you to not come rushing over here, but I promise I am being well taken care of. I feel alright, except for a sore throat and a headache, and expect to be home by tomorrow morning.

  
Yours, Remus Lupin."  
  
“Well, Petunia,” said Lily after reading the note aloud. “If Remus should have a dangerous fit of illness- if he should die- it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Black, and under your orders.”  
  
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Lily. People do not die of the common cold. You read the note, he is being taken good care of. I would suggest you go and see him if Papa was not out with the carriage.”  
  
Lily, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to Remus, even without the carriage. As she was not skilled with the horse, walking was her only option, which she declared to her sister.  
  
“How can you be so silly,” cried Petunia. “as to think of such a thing, in all this mud! You will not be fit to be seen by Mr. Black or his associates, and it is too far to walk besides.”  
“I will be very fit to see Remus, which is all I want. And the distance is worth it for Remus, it’s only three miles. I’ll be back by dinner.”

  
“I will go as far as Hogsmeade with you,” said Mrs. Evans. Lily accepted the offer, and the two of them set off together.

  
In Hogsmeade they parted- Mrs. Evans was off to see her sister, and Lily continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over puddles with at an impatient pace. She arrived at last at the house with weary ankles, dirty stockings, and a muddy hem, but a smile on her face from the exhilaration of the exercise and the prospect of seeing her friend.

  
She was shown into the parlour, where Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, and another shorter man with sandy blonde hair (whom she later discovered was named Mr. Pettigrew) were assembled. Her appearance created a great deal of surprise. The fact that she had walked three miles so early in the day, in such dirty weather, and by herself, was almost incredible to Mr. Black, though he received her very politely and kindly. Mr. Potter said very little, divided between admiration of the heavenly glow that the exercise had given Lily’s complexion, and doubt that Mr. Lupin’s illness justified her coming so far alone. Mr. Pettigrew was thinking only of his breakfast.

  
Her enquiries after her friend were not answered with positive news. Remus had not slept well, and fully awake, he was very feverish, and not well enough to leave his room. Lily was glad to be taken to him immediately. Remus, though hiding it with a firm scolding, found his spirits lifted at seeing his friend.

  
When breakfast was over they were joined by Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew. Elizabeth began to like them herself, charmed by Mr. Pettigrew’s kind- if not clumsy- disposition, and moved by the affection Mr. Black showed towards Remus. The doctor came, and having examined his patient, said that he had caught a violent cold. Remus was advised to return to bed and provided some medicine. Lily did not leave the room for even a moment, and Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew were not often absent. Mr. Potter stayed out, which Lily did not mind at all.  
When the clock struck three, Lily felt that she must go, and very unwillingly said so. Mr. Black would not have it, and instead offered Lily a spare bedroom. Lily thankfully took the offer, and a servant was dispatched to Cokesworth to inform her family of her stay and to bring back a supply of clothes.


	5. A Strange Creature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the formatting issues on this chapter, I really have no idea what happened

At five o’clock the three gentleman retired to change, and Remus had fallen into a fitful sleep. Lily, having finally received her clothes from Cokesworth, retired herself, and was summoned to dinner at half past six. Remus was by no means better, and was if he were awake, would have been in no fit state to join them. Mr. Pettigrew repeated several times how sorry he was for Remus, how miserable it was to have a bad cold, and how much he disliked being ill himself, and then thought no more of the matter as dinner was served. Black’s anxiety for Remus was evident, but he paid great attention to Lily and played the charming host. This pleased Lily, as his attentions helped her to feel like less of an intruder than she had originally thought.

  


When dinner was over, she returned directly to Remus, and Mr. Pettigrew began critiquing her as soon as she was out of the room. Though a charming girl, he found Lily’s manners to be quite odd for a lady of her age and station.  
  
“She seems a perfectly lovely girl, though I am still quite baffled from the look of her this morning. It seems very nonsensical to be scampering about the country because her friend had a cold. I’ve never known a lady so nonchalant- her petticoat must have been six inches deep in mud, and her hair so untidy. Miss Evans is indeed a strange creature.”  
“I thought Miss Evans looked remarkably well when she came into the room this morning,” interjected Sirius. “Don’t you agree, James?” His friend took a moment to pause before clearing his throat and saying in a stiff manner:  
“Miss Evans looked perfectly acceptable.”  
“I’m surprised with you James!” Sirius exclaimed with a smirk. “I would think you would make some rude remark about how her appearance affected your admiration of her fine eyes.”  
“Not at all,” he replied. “They were brightened by the exercise.”  
An awkward pause followed this statement, and the conversation was quickly diverted to a different subject by Mr. Pettigrew. Lily sat with Remus all through their conversation. He was still quite miserable, and Lily would not leave his side until late in the evening, when she had the comfort of seeing her friend sleep peacefully for the first time since she had arrived at Grimmauld Place. She quietly left the room to join the gentlemen downstairs. On entering the drawing room, she found the three men playing a game of exploding snap rather rowdily and decided to amuse herself with a book instead. Mr. Pettigrew looked at her with some astonishment.

  
“You really wouldn't fancy a game of exploding snap?” he asked. “You must be a great reader or take no pleasure in anything else to prefer it.”

  


“I am not a great reader, sir,” Lily replied with a hint of annoyance. “and I take pleasure in many things.”

  


“I’m sure you take pleasure in nursing Mr. Lupin,” Sirius offered. “and I hope it will soon be increased by seeing him quite well.”

  


This answer satisfied Lily, and she thanked him for it. She spent some time reading in the parlor, occasionally glancing over her book to watch the game of exploding snap. After one too many times of making accidental eye contact with Mr. Potter, she left to make a brief check on Remus. On her return, she informed the gentlemen that her friend was much worse, and that she could not possibly leave him. Mr. Black made the resolution to send for his doctor in the morning, and bid Mr. Potter to escort Lily back to her room with a jab in the ribs. Lily declined the offer as politely as she could before shooting James a warning look and retiring to her room. As she walked away, she heard the definite sound of Mr. Potter’s hand hitting the back of Mr. Black’s head and was able to crack a small smile.

  


The following days passed much as the ones before had. Remus, after being attended by the doctor, was making slow improvements, and was happy with Lily by his side. Mr. Potter had stayed far away from her, which she rather enjoyed, but she would often feel his eyes on her when she wasn’t looking. In the evenings, Lily would join the men in the drawing room. This evening, however, they had decided against playing exploding snap. Today, Mr. Potter was using the table to write while Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Black played a game of wizard’s chess in their large, comfortable chairs. Lily read her book and listened with amusement while Mr. Black teased Mr. Potter

  


“If you’re writing to your mother, tell her that her favorite son misses her very much.”

  


“You could tell her that yourself, you know, if you ever wrote to her.” James replied with a devilish grin.

  


“But you’re such a better writer than I am.” Sirius whined.

  


“I admire your humility, Mr. Black.” said Lily with a smirk.

  


“Mr. Black hasn’t been humble since the day he was born.” Said James.

  


Sirius flung himself back in his chair and placed a hand to his head.

  


“You are too cruel, James! I shall never recover. Check mate, Wormtail.”

  


At his defeat, Mr. Pettigrew made himself busy at the piano. Lily saw Sirius whisper something in James’s ear and push him rather roughly forward. She turned away when she noticed him approaching her, determined in her dislike for the man.

  


“Do you not feel an inclination, Miss Evans, to seize the opportunity for a dance?” he asked.

  


“I know that you want me to say ‘yes,’” replied Lily. “so that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste, but I take great delight in denying you the satisfaction. I have, therefore, made up my mind to tell you that I do not want to dance at all- and now you may despise me, if you dare.”

  


“Indeed I do not dare.”

  


Lily, having rather expected to affront him, was amazed at his maturity. However, James found there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody. Indeed, Mr. Potter had never been bewitched by any woman as he was by her, and were it not for their difference in station, he believed he may have been in some danger.

  


Later on in the evening, James found that he had to stop himself once more from longing after Lily. He had found her in the hall after Sirius and Peter had retired, staring up at a painting of Sirius.

  


“The man who took this is an excellent painter.” James remarked awkwardly, making Lily jump at the sound of him. Rolling her eyes, she folded her arms across her chest and stared back up at it.

  


“I don’t suppose you believe he would do me any justice?” she asked, expecting a sarcastic remark.

  


“It would not be easy, indeed, to capture you in a painting.” James looked over at Lily with a rather serious expression that made her feel quite uncomfortable. “especially your eyes. The color and shape, perhaps…but not their expression.”

  


The hall suddenly became too small for Lily, and Mr. Potter was now too close for her liking. Feeling her cheeks flush, she bade him a quick goodbye and practically ran back to Remus’s room.

  


Her friend was well enough to leave his room by the next morning, and Lily was glad to help him down to the drawing room for tea. Mr. Potter was all politeness, and Mr. Pettigrew made a bow and said how very glad he was to see Remus well again. Mr. Black was warm in his greeting, and talked scarcely to anyone else afterwards. His attention was not called back to his friends until long after tea-time had ended, and Mr. Pettigrew was in a mood to talk.

  


“By the bye, Sirius,” he said. “are you really serious considering hosting a dance at Grimmauld Place? I would advise you before you make any firm decisions to consult the wishes of the present company. We know there are some among us to whom a ball would be rather a punishment than a pleasure.”

  


“If you mean Prongs,” laughed Sirius, “he may go to bed if he chooses before it begins and save everyone the misery of seeing him sulk in a corner all night. But as for the dance, it is already settled, and I intend to send out invitations very soon.”


	6. A Gentleman and a Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Evans family receives a surprise visitor

Remus was well enough to leave by the next morning. Eager to escape the presence of Mr. Potter, Lily wrote to her father straight away to request the carriage. Sirius seemed distressed to hear that Remus was leaving, and repeatedly tried to persuade him that it was not safe for him to leave just yet. Remus, however, was firm in his resolve to go, having felt that he had overstayed his welcome. To James, it was a welcome relief. Lily had been at Grimmauld Place too long. She attracted him more than he liked, and Sirius and Peter were embarrassing him more often than usual. He resolved to be careful to show no sign of admiration to avoid further embarrassment. Sirius had more than once called him a love-sick fool, and he may have been right, but James was not about to openly show that to Lily. Steady in his purpose, he scarcely spoke ten words to her through the whole day, and though they were at one time left by themselves for a half hour, he paid attention only to his book, and would not even look at her. When it was time to go, and the carriage had finally arrived, Sirius insisted that he, Peter, and James escort their two guests outside. Lily watched Remus and Sirius exchange a few whispered words, and smiled at seeing the blush creep across her friend’s face. She made a polite goodbye to Peter and promised him a dance at the next ball before turning to James.

"Good day, Mr. Potter," She said politely with a curtsey.

“Always a pleasure, Miss Evans.” He replied with a bow of his head. Then, unexpectedly, he offered his hand to assist Lily into the carriage. Lily could have sworn she saw Sirius suppressing a laugh out of the corner of her eye. Shooting him a look, she took James’s hand and stepped up into the carriage. It was a strange feeling, but not entirely unwelcome, and it made her stomach churn. She caught herself thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad to feel her hand in his again as the carriage drove off. She rolled her eyes at a smirking Remus, and laughed with him as they heard James mutter a disgruntled “shut up, Padfoot” before moving out of earshot.

Lily did not see Remus the following day. He had been away from his parents for far too long, and wrote to Lily that he would see her in a few days. She read his note at the breakfast table and stuck her tongue out at Petunia after she was scolded for reading at the table. Mr. Evans cleared his throat to catch the girls’ attention, and flashes a sly smile as his family looked at him in anticipation.

“I hope, my dears,” he began. “that your mother has ordered a good dinner today, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party.”

“Who do you mean, dear?” Mrs. Evans questioned. “I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Remus is coming- Lily?”

“Remus is dining at home today, mama.” Lily offered. Mr. Evans cleared his throat again, and the attention was put back on him.

“The person of whom I speak is a gentleman, and a stranger, whom I have never met in the course of my whole life. About a month ago, I received a letter from my cousin, Mr. Dursley, who, when I am dead, may turn you all out of the house as soon as he pleases.”

“Oh! My dear,” cried Mrs. Evans. “I cannot bear to hear that mentioned. It is a cruel, cruel thing, that your estate should be entailed away from your own children, and he must be a cruel man to simply accept it.”

“It is certainly not a pleasant circumstance,” continued Mr. Evans, “but unfortunately nothing can clear Mr. Dursley from the guilt of inheriting our humble home. But, if you will listen to his letter, you may perhaps l may ease your mind.

Privet Drive,

15th October.

Dear Sir,

The disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late father has always given me much trouble, and since I have had the misfortune to lose him, I have frequently wished to heal the breach; but for some time I was kept back by my own doubts, fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with anyone whom my father disagreed with. My mind, however, is now made up on the subject, having received a promotion in my post at Grunnings and needing to travel near your home on business, to extend the olive-branch to yourself and my lovely cousins. If you should have no objection to receive me into your house, I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family, Monday, November 18th, by four o’clock, and shall probably trespass on your hospitality until the following Sunday. I remain, dear sir, with respectful compliments to your wife and daughters. Your well-wisher and friend, Vernon Dursley.”

“He seems a bit odd, I think,” said Lily. “There is something very pompous in how he writes. Do you think he could be a sensible man, papa?”

“I hope not, my dear. I think our meeting should be very entertaining.”

“In point of composition,” said Petunia. “his letter does not seem defective. The idea of the olive branch perhaps is not wholly new, yet I think it is well expressed.”

Mr. Dursley was punctual in his time, and was received with great politeness by the whole family. Mr. Evans said little, however Petunia and her mother were ready enough to talk, and Mr. Dursley needed little encouragement. He was a plump, purple-faced young man of twenty five. His air was grave and his manners were very formal. He had not been seated long before he complimented Mrs. Evans on her fine family, said he had heard much of their beauty, but that in this instance fame had fallen short of the truth; and added that he did not doubt seeing the two of them well disposed of in marriage soon. This gallantry was not much to the taste of some of his audience, but Petunia, who quarreled with no compliments, answered most readily-

“You are very kind, sir, I am sure, and I wish with all my heart it may prove so, for else we will be destitute enough, with everything settled so oddly.”

“You allude, perhaps, to the entail of this estate.”

“I do, sir, indeed. It is a grievous affair to my sister and I. Not that I mean to find fault with you, sir.”

“I am very sensible, madam, of the hardship to my fair cousins, and could say much on the subject. I can assure you young ladies that I come prepared to admire you- I will not say more, but perhaps when we are better acquainted-“

He was interrupted by a summons to dinner, and Lily rolled her eyes at her sister. Petunia was not the only object of Mr. Dursley’s admiration- the hall, the dining-room, and all its furniture were examined and praised. His commendation of everything would have touched the younger Miss Evans’ heart, but for the mortifying supposition of his viewing it all as his own future property. The dinner to was admired, and he begged to know to which of his fair cousins to offer his compliments to. But here he was set right by Mrs. Evans, who assured him that they were very well able to keep a good cook, and that her daughters had nothing to do in the kitchen. He begged pardon for having displeased her. In a softened tone she declared herself not offended, but he continued to apologize for the next hour.


	7. Mr. Severus Snape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily makes a new acquaintance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologize for the wait, this chapter took a long time to write! It is a little longer and dialogue-heavy, please bear with me. If you're a fan of the books or movies, I switched around a couple scenes. Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait!

Lily thought herself unfortunate when she was invited to Hogsmeade with Petunia and Mr. Dursley. She despised the man, even if he was her relative. She found his manners rude, his face too purple, and his opinions too harsh. But her mother had insisted that Petunia could not go to town with an unmarried man alone, and though they fought often, Lily couldn’t deny her sister the trip. She thought herself even more unfortunate before when she heard Mr. Dursley bark out a greeting to none other than Mr. Potter and Mr. Black.  
  
“Miss Evans!” Sirius exclaimed when he saw Lily. “Are you well?”  
  
“Very, sir, thank you.”  
  
“And how is your friend, Mr. Lupin?”  
  
“Feeling much better, thanks to you.”  
  
Just then, Mr. Dursley engaged Sirius in a rather boring-sounding conversation and Petunia joined in with them, leaving Lily and James alone together. She gave him a short curtsey as he made a polite bow.  
  
“Miss Evans.”  
  
“Mr. Potter.”  
  
“Are you well?”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
Lily almost thought she could detect a slight blush creeping up James’s cheeks. It would almost be cute, if she hadn’t made the commitment to loathe him forever.  
  
“Sirius speaks of your friend often.” James offered. “The other day I caught him writing poetry.”  
  
“Oh really?” Lily replied, unable to fight a smile at the thought. “And how was that?”  
  
“Dreadful. He’s a terrible writer.”  
  
“I don’t think he’d have much hope even if he wasn’t.”  
  
“Oh?” James quirked an eyebrow. “I was under the assumption that poetry was the food of love.”  
  
“Oh, it may be food to a fine, stout, healthy love. But for only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will kill it stone dead.”  
  
“Then what do you suggest, to encourage affection?”  
  
“Dancing.” Lily’s smile widened. “Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable.”  
  
Lily didn’t have time to relish in the shocked look on James’s face, as they had plans they were late for and really needed to go. The two groups made their polite goodbyes and the Evans sisters and their relative continued on their way. When questioned why she suddenly looked so happy by Petunia, Lily only smiled more. Her smile was knocked off her face when she entered the ribbon shop, for she was not paying attention and walked straight into a stranger exiting the shop.  
  
“Oh- I’m so sorry-“  
  
“Forgive me, the fault is mine.”  
  
Lily backed away from the man she ran into. He was tall and thin, with a hooked nose and long black hair that hung in his eyes. He wore black clothes, and was shrouded by a dark cloak. Lily thought he looked like the vampires that she and Petunia used to read about when they were children. He bowed to her, and she curtsied back.  
  
“I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Lily apologized.  
  
“Neither was I.” the man replied. He offered his hand. “Severus Snape.” Lily took his hand and watched as he pressed it to his lips.  
  
“Lily Evans.”  
  
“A pleasure.”  
  
May I ask how a gentleman such as you has found himself in a ribbon shop?” Lily asked teasingly. Mr. Snape shifted uncomfortably.  
  
“I was, er. Avoiding some unpleasant company.”  
  
“Oh? May I ask who?”  
  
“Are you familiar with a Mr. James Potter?”  
  
“Unfortunately,” Lily laughed. “and I find him quite disagreeable.”  
  
“So you understand why I hid then.”  
  
“I do. Though I’m curious what he’s done to earn your disapproval, other than being an insufferable toerag.”  
  
Severus let slip a hint of a smile.  
  
“We were at school together, madam, and I cannot say he was kind to me. He and his friend, Mr. Black…they played a cruel trick on me where I was nearly killed.” Lily covered her mouth to hide her gasp.  
  
“This is quite shocking- he deserves to be publicly disgraced. And I cannot believe Mr. Black would be involved in such a thing.”  
  
“Some time or other he will be, but it shall not be by me. As for Mr. Black, he is not as charming as he seems.”  
  
“But what could have been their motive? What can have induced them to behave so cruelly?”  
  
“A thorough, determined dislike of me- a dislike which I cannot explain.”  
  
“I had not thought Mr. Potter so bad as this- though I have never liked him, I had not thought so very ill of him. I had supposed him to be despising his fellow creatures in general, but did not suspect him of descending to such malicious inhumanity as this.”  
  
“Don’t misunderstand me, has always been lazy, arrogant, and prideful. But his cruelty, it seemed, was reserved specially for me.”  
  
Lily could hear her sister calling for her impatiently from the front and made a quick curtsey.  
  
“Forgive me, sir, I must be going.”  
  
“Of course. Good day, Miss Evans.”  
  
Lily related to Remus the next day what had passed between Mr. Snape and herself. Remus listened with astonishment and concern; he did not know how to believe that Mr. Potter and Mr. Black had been so cruel to a fellow peer. And yet, it was not in his nature to accuse Mr. Snape of lying either.  
  
“I don’t know, Lily,” he said warily. “I just don’t think Mr. Black is capable of such a thing.”  
  
“I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Potter,” Lily argued. “Perhaps he tricked Mr. Black into helping him.”  
  
“I think you judge him too harshly, Lily. Mr. Potter is really not as bad as you think he is. I think you should ask him before you pass judgement.”  
  
The two friends were summoned from the barn where their conversation had passed by the arrival of the very people they had been speaking about. Mr. Black, with Mr. Potter reluctantly in tow, had come to give their personal invitation for the long-expected ball at Grimmauld Place, which was to be held the following Tuesday. Once again, Sirius and Remus became quickly wrapped up in their own conversation, leaving Lily and James to talk amongst themselves. James noticed that the tension between them was stronger than usual, and Lily looked perfectly poised to strike.  
  
“Mr. Potter.” She said without expression.  
  
“Miss Evans.” James replied. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. The eyes that he had once praised as fine were now staring daggers at him, and it made him uneasy. If looks could kill, he’d be dead twice over.  
  
“I recently made a new acquaintance, perhaps you know him,” Lily asked. “Mr. Severus Snape? I believe he attended school with you and Mr. Black.”  
  
James’s expression suddenly turned very dark, and the hand that was playing in his hair before came down at his side, fist clenched. Attempting to keep his composure, he cleared his throat and spoke in the calmest voice he could muster.  
  
“Yes, Severus and I are well acquainted.” Lily smiled sweetly, relishing in his discomfort.  
  
“Perhaps you should ask Mr. Black to invite him to the ball? Seeing as the three of you are so well acquainted with each other, though I hear he has had the misfortune of losing favor in your eyes.”  
  
“You must have misheard, miss. It is impossible to lose something you never had.” James’s jaw was set as he spoke, and his eyes flashed with poorly restrained anger. Lily took a step towards him, still smiling rather smugly.  
  
“I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Potter, that your good opinion, once lost, is lost forever. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to who this good opinion is bestowed upon.”  
  
“I am,” he said in a firm voice. Lily took another step forward.  
  
“And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?”  
  
“I hope not.”  
  
“It is particularly important to those who never change their opinion to be secure in judging properly first.” Another step. They were barely a breath away now. Lily could see the small stag stitched into the lapel of his jacket, and James was close enough to where he could count all the freckles on her face. He frowned down at her.  
  
“May I ask why you are asking me these questions?”  
  
“I am merely trying to determine your character, Mr. Potter.” She craned her head upwards so she could make eye contact as she glared.  
  
“And what have you determined?” James asked in a lowered voice. He couldn’t help but glance down at her lips for a brief moment, they were now so close to him. He would barely have to move an inch to close the gap between them. She was blushing now, and it gave him satisfaction to know tha the was the cause of it.  
  
“Very little.”  
  
Just as he was about to move, James was saved by Sirius announcing that the two of them had best be on their way. James gave Lily a very curt bow before allowing his friend to whisk him back to their horses. Sirius had a triumphant grin splitting his face in two, and he gripped James’s shoulders as they walked.  
  
“I’m afraid you and I are both fools in love, Prongsy,” he said in a sing-song voice. “I have wooed the sweetest, most handsome man in the country, and you have managed to fall in love with a girl who seems determined to hate you.”  
  
“She’s friends with Snape.” James replied grimly. Sirius’s face immediately fell, and he removed his hands from his friend’s shoulders.  
  
“That git. He has the nerve to show his face here?”  
  
“I think he told Lily about the prank.”  
  
Sirius sighed as he and James mounted their horses.  
  
“I’m sorry for pulling you into all that, mate. I was a stupid kid.”  
  
“It was a long time ago, Sirius. I just don’t want him going around overexaggerating like he always does. Especially to Miss Evans.”  
  
“I’ll speak to Remus about it. Maybe he can try to convince her that you’re blameless.”  
  
“That’s another thing, Pads. I know that you’ve fallen for Mr. Lupin, and I’m happy for you…I just don’t know if he’s the best option for you, in the long term.”  
  
Sirius brought his horse to a stop and shot a harsh look at James.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Padfoot, I know that you don’t care about your family name.” Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
“Here we go again-“  
  
“But you are still a Black and a gentleman, and society has rules. I just want you to be sure about this before you risk your reputation.”  
  
“What makes you think I’m not sure?”  
  
“Sirius…”  
  
“No, go ahead. Tell me.”  
  
“I just,” James sighed. “I am not entirely convinced that Mr. Lupin is as…invested as you are.” James immediately regretted what he said as Sirius shook his head at him, looking more disappointed in him than he had ever been.  
  
“You can be a right prat sometimes, you know that James?”  
  
“Padfoot-“  
  
“Don’t “Padfoot” me!” Sirius spat. He tightened his grip on his horse’s reins. “I’m going home. You can go back to Godrick’s Hollow for all I care.”  
With a snap of the reins, Sirius was off, leaving James to chase after him all the way back to Grimmauld Place.


	8. A Most Agreeable Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grimmauld Place ball is here!

The prospect of the Grimmauld Place ball set the town buzzing. Petunia, who had become quite taken with Mr. Dursley, was cheerful the entire week leading up to it, and hadn’t said an unkind or rude thing the entire time. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were delighted at their son’s personal invitation, and there was talk of an expected upcoming engagement. Lupin, shy as he was, did not publicly entertain this idea, and chose to only confide his hope to Lily. Mrs. Lupin, however, had a penchant for gossip, and word was spreading fast that her son was soon to become the rich husband of Mr. Sirius Black. Such talk concerned Lily- it was presumptuous of her to talk so, and could ruin Remus’s chances if she weren’t careful.  
  
Despite her worry for her friend, Lily found herself in high spirits. She thought with pleasure of dancing a great deal with Mr. Snape, and seeing the look on Mr. Potter’s face as she did so. In fact, her spirits were so high that, though she did not speak to Mr. Dursley unless absolutely necessary, she could not help but ask him whether he intended to accept Mr. Black’s invitation, and if he did, whether he would think it proper to join in the evening’s amusement. She was rather surprised to find that he had no scruples with the idea, and was very far from dreading the venture to dance.  
  
“I am by no means of opinion, I assure you,” he wheezed, “that a ball of this kind, given by a young man of character, to respectable people, can have any evil tendency. I am so far from objecting to dancing myself, that I shall hope to be honored with the hands of both of my fair cousins in the course of the evening- and I take this opportunity of soliciting yours, Miss Lily, for the first two dances especially.”  
  
Lily found herself completely taken aback. She had fully expected to be engaged by Mr. Snape for those dances- and to have Mr. Dursley instead! Not to mention it would likely hurt Petunia, who she knew had shown a keen interest in their cousin. But there was no help for it- his proposal was taken with as good a grace as she could, and a hope that he wouldn’t look too far into it. She had a sinking feeling that he had a deeper reason for asking for those dances, as she observed his increasing civilities toward herself, and heard his frequent attempt at a compliment on her wit and vivacity.  
  
When the day of the ball came, Lily and Petunia dressed with more care than usual, and prepared in the highest spirits to enjoy a charming night at Grimmauld Place. Lily was disappointed, though unsurprised, when she discovered that Mr. Snape was not in attendance. According to Remus’s information from Mr. Black, he had been called away on business and would not return until tomorrow.  
  
“I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman.” Remus added with a whisper.  
  
Unfortunately, Lily’s disappointment did not end here. The first two dances, which she had promised to her cousin if you remember, were absolutely mortifying. Mr. Dursely, stiff, large, and awkward as he was, often moved wrong without being aware of it and was constantly wheezing out apologies, and gave her all the shame and misery which only a disagreeable dance partner can give. The moment of her release from him was exstacy.  
  
When the dances were over she managed to find Alice Longbottom, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Potter, who took her so much by surprise in asking for her hand that, without knowing what she was doing, she accepted him. He walked away again immediately, and she was left to fret over what she had done. Alice, not knowing of her disdain for the man, smiled and encouraged her.  
  
“Don’t look so terrified, Lily. I’m sure you will find him very agreeable.” Lily thought that this would be most unfortunate, since she was determined to hate him forever.  
  
Lily took her place in the set, amazed at the dignity which she was regarded with when she stood opposite to Mr. Potter. Though everyone in the town agreed he was unpleasant and proud, her neighbors looked at her with amazement. They stood for some time without speaking a word, and Lily was content to not break the silence for the two dances. However, she fancied that it would be greater punishment to her partner to force him to talk.  
  
“I love this dance,” she remarked. Mr. Potter only nodded. After a pause of some minutes she addressed him a second time. “It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Potter. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.”  
  
“I’m perfectly happy to oblige. Please advise me on what you would like most to hear?” Lily silently cursed him for his accommodating demeanor, and cursed herself for almost being drawn in by that charming smile.  
  
“Very well. That reply will do for now. I will observe that private balls are much pleasanter that public ones. But now we may be silent.”  
  
“Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing?”  
  
“No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn. Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don’t you think?”  
  
“I feel that you’re making fun of me, Miss Evans.”  
  
“I’m not.” She was.  
  
“I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.”  
  
“You should have no issue conversing with me, then.”  
  
They danced in silence for some time, until Lily could not stand to look at his stupid smug face anymore, and focused her eyes on his waistcoat, which was again embroidered with a single outline of a stag.  
  
“What does it mean?” she asked. “The stag. I don’t believe it’s part of your family crest.” James smiled as if recalling a fond memory and twirled her.  
  
“It’s a bit difficult to explain, really. Sirius, Peter, and I…we formed a sort of club when we were at school, and we came up with these stupid nicknames based off the animal we related to most. I can’t recall where the idea came from, but it stuck.”  
  
“Is that why he calls you Prongs, then? Because you chose a stag?”  
  
“Precisely.” He flashed her that charming grin and she hated herself for smiling back.  
  
“And Mr. Black?”  
  
“Padfoot. For a dog. And Peter is Wormtail, for a rat.” Though she thought it quite silly, Lily actually thought that their animal representations made a lot of sense.  
  
“Your friends seem very important to you.” She commented. James’s smile changed to something more somber, and his touch on Lily was more tender as they danced.  
  
“Sirius’s parents kicked him out of the house when he was sixteen, and my father died while I was at school. He and Peter…they’re my family.”  
  
Lily felt sad all of the sudden, and stopped dancing where she stood. James noticed her change and stopped too when they were only inches apart. He didn’t know how he kept ending up in this situation, so close but so achingly far from Lily, and he thought to himself that the universe must enjoy playing cruel tricks on him. Her beautiful green eyes were wide and watery and sad, and he decided he never wanted to see her sad again.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “I didn’t mean to pry.”  
  
“You didn’t,” James reassured her. “I chose to answer the question.”  
  
“You are a very strange man, Mr. Potter.”  
  
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”  
  
James looked like he was almost about to say something more, or perhaps just about to finally make his move and close the gap between them, when the musicians played their last chord and the dance ended. He clapped with his neighbors, made a polite bow to Lily, and went off to find Remus before he made a fool out of himself. As he travelled through the rooms, he could not help but overhear a woman- Mrs. Lupin, he suspected, speaking to Mrs. Evans freely and rather loudly of her expectation that Remus would be soon married to Mr. Black. It was an animating subject, and Mrs. Lupin seemed incapable of fatigue while enumerating the advantages of the match. He was a charming young man, and so rich, and lived but three miles from them, and it was a comfort to think how fond he was of Remus. She concluded with many good wishes that Mrs. Evans might soon be equally fortunate, though evidently and triumphantly believing there was no chance of it. With his familiar scowl returning, Mr. Potter found his way to Peter and Sirius. He and Sirius had made up earlier in the week, and he was grateful for it when he saw him smiling.  
  
“James, my boy!” Sirius called and patted his friend hard on the back. “You finally worked up the courage to ask Miss Evans to dance!”  
  
“You two make a lovely couple.” Peter cooed. “A pity she’s not higher in station.”  
  
“Did I see you dancing with Marlene McKinnon, Pete?” James asked. Peter blushed, and James spent the remainder of his evening laughing with his friends, his head filled with thoughts of Lily Evans and her fine eyes.


	9. A Generous Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily gets an offer from Mr. Dursley, and Remus gets some bad news.

The next day, Lily found herself in the unfortunate position of being alone in the drawing room. Petunia was out to town with their mother, and her father was in his office, and so Lily had no one to escape to when Mr. Dursley entered the room and cleared his throat.  
  
“Miss Lily,” he said. “may I have a word?” Lily hesitantly closed her book and adjusted herself in her seat. Her cousin looked slightly more purple than usual, and far more sweaty. Mr. Dursley cleared his throat again before continuing on.  
  
“Dear Miss Lily, I am sure my attentions have been to marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But, before I am run away with my feelings, perhaps I may state my reasons for marrying.”  
  
“Mr. Dursley-“ Lily tried to interrupt.  
  
“Firstly, it is the duty of a gentleman to set an example with matrimony. Secondly, that I am convinced it will add greatly to my happiness. And thirdly, I feel it is my duty to select for my wife one of Mr. Evans’ daughters, for I am to inherit the estate, and such an alliance will surely suit everyone. And now, nothing remains but for me to assure you with the most animated language of the…violence of my affections.”  
  
“Mr. Dursley!” Lily said again as she stood.  
  
“And that no reproach on the subject of fortune will cross my lips once we’re married.”  
  
“You are too hasty sir. You forget that I have given no answer.” Lily tried desperately to reason with him. “I am honored by your proposal, but I regret that I must decline it.”  
  
“I know ladies don’t seek to seem too eager in these things,” Mr. Dursley continued, unfazed.  
  
“Mr. Dursley, I am perfectly serious! You could not make me happy and I’m convinced I’m the last woman in the world who could make you happy.”  
  
“You will see reason, I assure you.”  
  
“Sir, it is not a matter of reason. I cannot accept you.”  
  
Mr. Dursley, finally seeming to understand, clenched his fists and screwed up his face in a way that reminded Lily of a squashed tomato.  
  
“You realize that I am making a very generous offer? And that you are unlikely to receive any other proposal in your lifetime, given your small inheritance?”  
  
“I am perfectly aware of my circumstances in life, sir, and my answer is still no.”  
  
Lily pushed past Mr. Dursley and left the room before the conversation could go any further. She did not tell her family of the proposal, and could provide them with no guess as to why he left suddenly the next day. Petunia was quite inconsolable, and Lily spent most of the morning comforting her. It was unlikely that he would return, having been embarrassed by one Evans sister, but Lily worried that Petunia would do something foolish if given the chance, and so tried her best to help her move on from her heartbreak. Petunia was the sensible sister, the pragmatic one, but she was also twenty-three homely, and therefore quite desperate.  
  
It seemed that everyone close to Lily was getting their heart broken that day. After Mr. Dursley left, and Lily had convinced Petunia to take a walk for her health, Remus came by to call on Lily. She knew from the look on his face that he was upset, and quickly rushed them to the barn.  
  
“What is it, Remus?” she asked as they sat down. Remus, trying hard to conceal his sadness, handed Lily a letter.  
  
“I received this from Mr. Pettigrew,” he mumbled. Lily took the letter from him, opened it, and read it aloud.  
  
“Dear Mr. Lupin, it is my deepest regret to inform you that Sirius, James, and I have left Grimmauld Place without any intention of coming back again. Oh, Remus…”  
  
“Keep reading.”  
  
“We will be going directly to Mr. Potter’s townhouse in London and will be conducting the sale of Grimmauld Place from there. Though I would like some day to return, I fear the chance is unlikely. Mr. Potter is likely to return to Godrick's Hollow to care for his mother, and I have no doubt that Mr. Black will follow him. I hope, at some future period, that we may meet again, and wish you well. Remus, there must be some mistake.”  
  
“There is no mistake.” Lily frowned and set the letter down.  
  
“This must be Mr. Potter’s doing.”  
  
“You can’t blame him for everything, Lily. I know you despise him, but he has nothing to do with this.”  
  
Lily could see the tears in her friend’s eyes and knew it was the wrong moment to talk about her rivalry with James Potter. She collected Remus in her arms and he cried into her shoulder for some time. Afterwards, he was almost himself again, and smiled painfully as he wiped his eyes.  
  
“I’m alright,” he sniffed. “He will be forgot, and we shall all be as we were before. He will live in my memory as the most amiable man of my acquaintance, and that is all. I feel better already.”  
  
“My dear Remus,” Lily said sadly. “it’s alright to be sad.”  
  
“No- no, I’m not sad. I just need some chocolate, that’s all. Do you have any chocolate, Lily?”  
  
Lily sighed, and decided it was easier not to argue right now. She cursed Sirius Black for what he did to her friend. He cursed James Potter for his involvement, because she knew that he must be involved somehow. Only one good thing could come out of all this heartbreak, Lily decided. She would never have to see Mr. Potter ever again.


	10. Most Ardently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James have a confrontation in the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! The famous scene, with a little twist :)

As usual, Lily was wrong. She had the misfortune of not being able to escape Mr. Potter. With Mr. Snape gone to a new job and Remus in London with his parents, Lily grew lonely over time. The highlight of her nearly three months of boredom was an invitation to tea from her friend Marlene McKinnon. Lily dressed happily, and contentedly made the walk to her friend’s estate. She hugged her friend and was welcomed inside. The two friends gossiped and laughed with each other, and Lily had almost forgot how upset she was just twelve weeks ago.  
  
Her happy tea-time with Marlene was interrupted by Mr. McKinnon returning home, with his close friend- Mr. James Potter. It took all of Lily’s willpower to suppress a scream of frustration. Of course, it was slightly her fault for forgetting that the McKinnons were old friends of the Potter family, but still, James was supposed to be in London. Would Lily ever be able to escape him?  
  
“Mr. Potter, you know my daughter, Marlene, and her friend, Miss Lily Evans?”  
  
“Indeed. It is a pleasure, ladies.” James bowed to the ladies, and Lily avoided his gaze.  
  
“Marlene, I wonder if you’d help me in the wine cellar for just a moment. I’m sure our guests will be alright without us.”  
  
“Actually, I-“ Lily tried to say before she was interrupted by Marlene, who gave her a wink.  
  
“Certainly, father.”  
  
Soon, Lily and James were left alone in the room together. Lily was the first to speak.  
  
“Are you going to sit?” she asked.  
  
“No.” James replied quickly. Then, a little slower. “No, I prefer to stand.”  
  
“Are you here long?”  
  
“Miss Evans, I must speak with you,” James suddenly blurted out. “May we speak in the garden?” Lily frowned.  
  
“I don’t know if our hosts would appreciate our leaving so suddenly.”  
  
“I’m sure they won’t miss us. Mr. McKinnon has been known to spend an hour or two in his wine cellar picking the right vintage.”  
  
Lily hesitantly stood and followed him outside. It was dark and raining, but Lily was not cold. Her body buzzed with anticipation and she did not know why. She had the feeling that something unpleasant was going to happen. James was fiddling with his hair as he always did when he was nervous and his palms were sweating. They took shelter under a gazebo in the garden. Mr. Potter looked like he was about to be sick, and finally, he spoke.  
  
“Miss Evans. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I admit that I knew you would be here today and came here with the single object of seeing you. It was stupid, imposing on a friend’s kindness, but. I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgement, my family and friend’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.” Lily took a step back and shook her head.  
  
“I…I don’t understand.”  
  
“I love you. Most ardently. Please. Please, do me the honor of accepting my hand.”  
  
Lily paused, and simply looked at James. Was this a joke? If it was, it was a rather cruel one, and Mr. Potter was not laughing.  
  
“Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done.” James only blinked at her.  
  
“Is this your reply?”  
  
“Yes sir.”  
  
“Are you. Are you laughing at me?”  
  
“No.” and this time it was true. Lily did not find any of this remotely funny.  
  
“Are you rejecting me?”  
  
“I’m sure that the feelings which, as you’ve told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it.” She spat. She was no longer confused. She was angry.  
  
“Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed?”  
  
“And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me you liked me against your better judgement.”  
  
If it was possible, James’s face fell even more.  
  
“No, believe me, I didn’t mean-“  
  
“If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse. But I have other reasons, you know I have.”  
  
“What reasons?”  
  
“Do you think anything might tempt me to accept a man who has ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved friend? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who love each other, exposing your friend to the world for caprice and my friend to derision for disappointed hopes, involving them both in misery of the acutest kind?”  
  
“I do not deny it.”  
  
“How could you do it.”  
  
James scowled and took several steps towards her. There was not the tension that hung between them before, when they were this close. There was only anger, and bitterness, and disappointment.  
  
“Because I believed your friend to be indifferent to him.”  
  
“Indifferent?”  
  
“I watched them most carefully and realized his attachment was deeper than Mr. Lupin’s.”  
  
“That’s because he’s shy!” Lily took another step towards James. She wanted to get in his face, to scream bloody murder at him, to slap him.  
  
“Sirius, too, is modest and was persuaded he didn’t feel strongly for him-“  
  
“Because you suggested it!”  
  
“I did it for his own good!”  
  
“Remus hardly shows his true feelings to me! I suppose you suspect that Mr. Black's fortune had some bearing?”  
  
“No! I wouldn’t do your friend the dishonor, though it was suggested…”  
  
Lily glared up at him with fire in her eyes.  
  
“What. Was?”  
  
“It was made perfectly clear that an advantageous marriage…”  
  
“Did Remus give that impression?”  
  
“No! No. No, there was however, I have to admit, the matter of his family.”  
  
“His want of connection? Mr. Black didn’t seem to vex himself about that-“  
  
“No, it was more than that.”  
  
“How, sir?”  
  
“It was the lack of propriety shown by his mother and yours.”  
  
Lily could swear she heard a growl in the back of his throat. The rain pounded hard around them and Lily did not care. Her mind was blank, her ears rang with white hot fury. James could hardly see her through the rain on his glasses and he didn’t care. He was in love with her and he hated himself for it, and he hated himself even more for exposing himself this way, to make a fool of himself.  
  
“And what about Mr. Snape?”  
  
“Mr. Snape?”  
  
“What excuse can you give for your behavior towards him?”  
  
“You take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns.”  
  
“He told me of his misfortunes.” James couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he scoffed.  
  
“Oh yes his misfortunes have been very great indeed.”  
  
“You bully him and yet you treat him with sarcasm.”  
  
“So this is your opinion of me. Thank you, for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had your pride not been hurt by my honesty.”  
  
“My pride?”  
  
“In admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?”  
  
“And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry-“  
  
She was cut off as James came forward and finally closed the gap between them. He buried his hands in her hair and he closed his eyes as their lips met. Lily, shocked at first, found herself melting into the kiss, placing her hands on his chest. Then, as if struck by lightning, she jumped back. They both stared at each other, eyes wild, and caught their breath. Neither Lily nor James could believe what they had just done. It felt like a lifetime before James spoke again, his voice breaking.  
  
“Forgive me. Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.”  
  
With that, he departed, leaving Lily under the gazebo, in the rain, with only the memory of the feeling of his lips on hers.


	11. Mr. Potter's Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily receives a letter and an explanation

Lily did not tell anyone about the kiss. Not even Remus. Frankly, she wanted to forget it ever happened. But that was the problem- she couldn’t. It had shaken her to her very core, and she was violently, violently angry with Mr. Potter for making her feel this way. Not only had he _dared _to kiss her, after everything he said to her, but she had kissed him back. She had kissed him back and she had _liked_ it. She hated him for what he did, for how he made her feel.  
  
She hated him more when she received the letter. She was lucky, able to apprehend it before anyone else could notice, and locked herself in she and Petunia’s room so as not to be disturbed. Petunia was acting rather strange lately, and was not often at home. She wouldn’t mind being locked out.  
  
The letter was from Mr. Potter. He had addressed it to her so delicately, and sealed it with the familiar image of the stag in wax. The paper smelled like him somehow, and Lily was again reminded of the kiss, and quickly pushed the thought out of her mind as she read.  
  
Miss Evans,  
  
I shall not renew the sentiments which were so disgusting to you. But if I may I will address the two offenses you have laid against me.  
  
Sirius and I attended school with Mr. Snape, it is true. I will admit that we were not well-behaved children- we often found ourselves engaging in quite a bit of mischief. We were unkind to Snape, he is right about that. But he was as well.  
  
Severus Snape is not the man that you think he is. He is a bully, and a bigot. He was cruel to his fellow students, and kept company with a group of boys who were entirely unpleasant. Sirius and I were bullies, yes. We pulled pranks on Snape- I recall one year where we hid all of his left socks I don’t believe he’s ever been able to find them. But we were not cruel. Snape participated in the physical abuse of a number of our fellow students, mostly lead by his so-called ‘friends.’ He showed no hesitation in his willingness to commit of acts of gross violence and no remorse when they were actually performed.  
  
In our fifth year, Sirius decided he had had enough. I will not explain in the exact details, as doing so would take up far too much of your time, but the general explanation of what happened is this:   
Sirius and I had been making note of and using secret passageways at school since our first year. There was one particular passageway which was useless as it had a dead end. The passageway was also prone to flooding, and so was disregarded.  
  
Somehow, and to this day I still do not know why, Snape was lured into the passageway by Sirius. I suspect that Sirius had indicated that we were doing something worthy of expulsion, and knew Snape would not be able to resist the opportunity to see us punished. It would have been a harmless prank any other day- Snape would have been met a dead end, but still would have been able to make it back out with little trouble. But the day that Sirius chose, it had been raining. To be precise, it had been raining for three whole days, and the tunnel had ample time to begin to flood. It was impossible, you see, to see the bottom of the tunnel from the entrance, so Snape had no idea of the flooding. Sirius knew, however. Sirius also knew that Snape does not know how to swim.  
  
I discovered this plot and tried to put a stop to it, but it was too late. Snape had just gone down the tunnel by the time I arrived. He was drowning when I found him. I pulled him out. Snape, who hated me with a passion beforehand, was faced with a dilemma- I had saved his life, and he owed me a debt. Unable to reconcile his hatred for and gratitude to me, he and I have been in a fragile stalemate ever since. Recently, I learned that he has been telling a different version of this story, a version where Sirius and I were in kahoots for this plan, and that I only pulled him out because I realized I would get expelled. This is untrue. I did not speak to Sirius for weeks after the prank, you can ask him yourself. While this story is shocking, I assure you that Sirius and I are both changed men. We were stupid children and have grown into better men since then.  
  
As for the other matter, that of your friend and Mr. Black: though the motives which governed me may to you appear insufficient, they were in the service of a friend. I apologize for any pain I may have caused you or Mr. Lupin. It was not my intention.  
  
I hope that this letter may provide you clarity. After the way I behaved, I do not expect your forgiveness. All I ask this that you take my words into consideration before you pass judgement.  
Ever yours,  
  
James Potter__


	12. Godrick's Hollow

Like the kiss, Lily kept the letter a secret. Her thoughts were consumed by it. How could she have been so stupid, so prejudiced? She was entirely wrong in her assessment of Mr. Potter’s character. She was ashamed of how she had treated him, but most of all, she was ashamed of herself. Ashamed of believing the words of a stranger over that of her friend, ashamed of her quick judgements. He had been rude to her, yes, and he was not forgiven for that. But it was obvious he had come to regret it, and, at least according to a week ago, loved her. Was he thinking of her now, she wondered? Or had he entirely moved on after being spurned? Lily couldn’t blame him if he did.  
  
Remus returned from London at the end of the week. He had run into Alice and Frank Longbottom on his way to Cokesworth, and was accompanied by them when he went to see Lily. She had hugged her friend tightly and urged him to tell her all the news he had. When Frank and Alice were out of earshot, speaking with Petunia, she whispered in a low voice.  
  
“Did you see Mr. Black at all while you were in London?”  
  
Remus smiled sadly and shook his head. “I’m quite over him Lily, really. If he passed me in the street, I’d hardly notice.”  
  
Lily didn’t believe this at all to be true, but patted her friend’s hand all the same and smiled.  
  
“Petunia looks rather cheerful,” Remus remarked after a pause.  
  
“She’s been acting strangely lately. I don’t know what to think of it.”  
  
Remus wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Perhaps she’s found a gentleman caller?”  
  
The two friends burst into giggles. By the time they caught their breath, Alice had sat herself next to Lily and looped her arm through her friend’s elbow. Lily gave Alice a suspicious look.  
  
“Alice, I don’t like that look on your face.”  
  
“You’re coming London with Frank and I.” she said with a smile.  
  
“Oh dear, you two have been planning behind my back, haven’t you?” Remus gave her a guilty look.  
  
“You need to get out of the house, Lily! You spend so much time taking care of other people’s problems, you deserve some relaxation.”  
  
“I suppose I have no choice, then?” Both her friends shook their heads. Though she made a dramatic sigh of protest, Lily felt great appreciation for her friends at that moment. They always knew when she needed cheering up and exactly what she needed. It was rather annoying sometimes, how in tune they were with her emotions. But she appreciated it, even if they did go behind her back.  
  
Within a matter of an hour, Lily was packed for her trip and in the carriage with Alice and Frank. Petunia was also there, but was dropped off a half-hour into their journey. She was being cryptic with where she was going, but said she was only visiting a friend and would be back home in a couple of days. Lily did not like the ache she got in her stomach, but pushed away her doubts, attributing them to stress.  
  
Unfortunately for the travelers, their carriage was not up for the journey all the way to London. One of the wheels got stuck in mud just outside the city, in a quaint countryside. The group decided it was best to take a break for lunch while the driver went to town to get help. The trio decided to stay the night, as it seemed nice enough, and there was no harm in extending their journey another day, and then seek a carriage to London in the morning.  
  
“Where exactly are we?” Lily asked as she picnicked with her friends.  
  
“I believe we’re quite near Godrick’s Hollow,” Frank replied. Lily nearly choked on her food, and looked at her friend with wide eyes.  
  
“Mr. Potter’s home?”  
  
“I’ve heard it’s splendid,” Alice interjected. “Shall we go and have a look?”  
  
“No,” Lily said quickly. “No, let’s. Let’s not.”  
  
“Why ever not, Lily?” said Frank. “I thought the two of you were well acquainted.” Lily scrambled to think of an excuse and answered with the first thought that popped into her mind.  
  
“He’s so…he’s so rich.”  
  
“Oh heavens, Lily! What a snob you are! Objecting to poor Mr. Potter because of his wealth! The poor man can’t help it. Besides, these great men are never at home, I’m sure he’s in London with his friend, Mr. Black.”  
  
Not being able to think of an excuse that wouldn’t ruin the trip, Lily was forced to join the couple in their journey to Godrick’s Hollow. Lily, with her fondness for walking, was not bothered by the distance, but Alice and Frank did not have her stamina, and had to give in and hail a carriage.  
  
The park surrounding Godrick’s Hollow was very large. They entered it in one of its lowest points, and drove for some time through a beautiful wood stretching over a wide extent. Lily’s mind was too occupied for conversation, but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view. They gradually ascended for half a mile, and then found themselves at the top of a hill, where they saw that the wood ceased, and at the opposite side of the valley, Godrick’s Hollow. It was a large, handsome stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ride of high woody hills, and in front of it a stream flowed into a clear blue lake. Lily had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by human touch.  
  
They descended the hill, crossed the bridge, and drove to the door; and while examining the house up close, all Lily’s apprehensions of meeting its owner returned. She dreaded that her friend had been mistaken, that she would have to face Mr. Potter again. She didn’t think she could bear the mortification that would bring. They were welcomed into the place by the housekeeper.  
  
The housekeeper was a respectable-looking elderly woman- much less fine, and more civil than she believed she would be. They followed her into the parlor. It was a large, well-proportioned room, handsomely furnished. Lily, after slightly surveying it, went to a window to enjoy the view. The hill, crowned with the woods, was a beautiful thing to behold. The river, the trees scattered on its banks, and the winding of the valley, it was all a delight. As they passed into other rooms, she noted how the nature looked from every window, and it was all beautiful. The rooms were lofty and handsome, and their furnishings suitable to the fortune of their owner. It was a strange thought to Lily, that she could have been the mistress of this fine house, and all of its fine things. She may have been the one to welcome her friends into the home, if things had been different.  
  
She longed to ask the housekeeper whether her master was really absent, but her courage had abandoned her. After a while, though, the question was asked by Frank, and she turned away to not reveal the look on her face.  
  
“Not at the moment,” said the housekeeper. “We expect him tomorrow, along with Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew. I’ll have to put away all the breakable items, lord help me…”  
  
Lily breathed a sigh of relief as they made their way into a room full of statues. She would not have to face Mr. Potter today, and would be happily gone in London by the time he was back.  
Alice called her over to look at a bust of Mr. Potter. Lily could not help but notice small details that she had not seen before, and caught herself staring.  
  
“Do you not think him a handsome gentleman, ma’am?” the housekeeper said.  
  
“Yes. Very handsome.”  
  
“Is your master much at home?” asked Frank.  
  
“Not as much as I or his mother would like, sir; but I dare say he may spend half his time here.”  
  
“If Mr. Potter would marry, you might see more of him.”  
  
“Oh, yes sir, but I do not know when that will be. I don’t know who is good enough for him.”  
  
Lily stared at her feet.  
  
“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a cross word from him in my life,” the housekeeper continued. “and I have known him ever since he was four years old. I have always observed that good-natured children grow to be good-natured adults, and he was always the sweetest-tempered, most generous boy in the world.”  
On reaching the spacious lobby above, they were shown into the sitting-room, decorated with greater elegance and lightness than the rooms below, and were informed that James had decorated the room for Mrs. Potter the last time he was home.  
  
“He seems a good son,” said Lily.  
  
“Oh, yes ma’am, there is nothing he would not do for her.”  
  
Lily heard the delightful sound music, and followed the noise. She peaked through a crack in one of the doors and saw a woman, presumably Mrs. Potter, playing the piano beautifully. Lily was almost content to stand there and listen the rest of the day, if Mr. Potter had not walked into the room at that very moment and made eye contact with her. Concealing a yelp, she ran out the door and out onto the balcony. It was everything she could do not to swear when she heard footsteps behind her, and turned to see Mr. Potter standing in front of her with that lost puppy expression.  
  
“Miss Evans,” he said breathlessly. It was clear he was surprised to see her there, but Lily could not detect disappointed. Still, it was an awkward interaction, and Lily wanted to be out of it as soon as possible.  
  
“I thought you were in London,” she said. It was the only thing she could think to say. Mr. Potter blinked.  
  
“No. No, I’m not.”  
  
“No.”  
  
Then, simultaneously:  
  
“We would not have come if we’d known you were here.”  
  
“I came back a day early.” There was a pause, and Lily spoke again.  
  
“I’m here with Alice and Frank.” James cleared his throat, and ran a characteristic hand through his hair.  
  
“Are you having a…pleasant trip?”  
  
“Yes, very pleasant.” There was another pause. “Tomorrow we go to London.”  
  
“Tomorrow?” Another pause. “Are you staying in the village?”  
  
“Yes, sir, at the Leaky Couldron.”  
  
“Yes.” Yet another pause. Lily was fiddling with her dress.  
  
“I’m so sorry to intrude,” she apologized. “They said that the house was open for visitors, I had no idea…”  
  
“May I see you back to the village?”  
  
“No!” Lily swallowed. “No, I’m very fond of walking.” James smiled a little.  
  
“Yes. Yes, I know.”  
  
“Well. Good day, Mr. Potter.” Lily curtsied very quickly, and went down the stairs. The housekeeper informed them that Alice and Frank had gone, and so Lily walked to the inn. When she arrived, however, she saw that Mr. Potter had beat her there, and was speaking with her friends. She quickly hid behind a table, and did not come back out until he was gone.  
  
“Oh! There you are, Lily! You just missed Mr. Potter, he invited us to Godrick’s Hollow tomorrow.”  
  
“Tomorrow?”  
  
“You don’t mind extending our stay here for a day or two, do you Lily?”  
  
Again, Lily could not find a logical reason to argue, and so found herself back at Godrick’s Hollow the next day. The trio was led to the room with the piano, and were greeted by James Mrs. Potter, a charming looking woman, who took Lily’s hand and smiled about her.  
  
“Miss Evans, I presume? I have heard so much about you.”  
  
“You have?” Lily asked, raising an eyebrow at James. “Good things I hope.”  
  
“Of course, my dear! I hope he and Sirius didn’t give you too much trouble. My boys do have a habit of getting themselves into mischief.”  
  
“I assure you, madam, your sons have been well behaved.” She flashed a grin at James, who’s face turned a deeper shade of red.  
  
“Mother, please-“ he protested.  
  
“You come sit with me, dear and we shall have tea. You too, Mrs. Longbottom. We will leave the boys to their activities.”  
  
The travelers spent a long, lovely day at Godrick’s Hollow. James surprised Lily at every turn, and she had to admit that he was quite charming. It annoyed her, really, how much she liked him now. He accompanied them back to the Leaky Cauldron, where Lily was greeted by a maid and handed a letter from Petunia.  
  
Alice, Frank, and James found themselves waiting in the parlor of the Longbottom’s room. Lily had read the letter and shut herself in the room, and had been crying for nearly ten minutes now without coming out to see them. James had been pacing the entire time, and had just sat down when Lily came out, and immediately bounced back up at attention. Lily took a moment to compose herself and wiped her eyes.  
  
“Petunia has run away,” she announced through tears. “with Mr. Dursley. I can’t believe I didn’t see it, she’s been acting so strangely lately. They have gone to God knows where, she has no money, no connections. I fear she may be lost forever.”  
  
“Has anything been done to try and recover her?” Alice asked.  
  
“My father has gone to London with my uncle, but I know very well that nothing can be done. We have not the smallest hope.”  
  
James gave her a look of sympathy.  
  
“If there was some way to help you…” he said. Lily sniffed and shook her head.  
  
“Sir, I believe it is too late.”  
  
“You shall take my carriage back to Cokesworth- Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom, if you are willing to wait until the carriage returns, I will escort you personally to London.” Lily blinked up at him.  
“You are too generous, sir, there is no need-“  
  
“I insist.”  
  
Lily thanked him, and before she knew it, she was in the carriage headed back to Cokesworth. She arrived to find the house in chaos- her mother was in tears, with no company as her husband was in London. She hugged her daughter tightly when she came home.  
  
“Mama, I’m so sorry. If I had been home-“  
  
“Don’t blame yourself, my dear, sweet girl. We could have never predicted…I would never have thought…this is so unlike Petunia. It’s like I hardly even know her anymore.”  
  
“Papa and my uncle will find her and all will be well.”  
  
The two Evans women waited in agony for days. Lily could not comprehend it all. This was so out of character for Petunia. She knew she was desperate, but this was extreme. She felt she did not know her sister at all anymore. And she hated Mr. Dursley, hated him for what he was doing to her sister, to her family.  
Her father came back after three days, and a letter arrived from her uncle after five. She rushed it to her father, and he looked rather surprised after reading it. Lily, unable to take the suspense, begged him to tell her what it had said.  
  
“Are they married?” she asked with some urgency. Her father shook his head and rubbed his brow.  
  
“Not yet,” he said. He sounded tired. “But they will be, if I can provide 100 galleons a year to Mr. Dursley.”  
  
“And will you?”  
  
“Of course. Your uncle must have been very generous.”  
  
“What do you mean, papa?”  
  
“No man with any sense would marry your sister for 100 a year. Your uncle must have paid him handsomely- I will write him back at once.”


	13. Petunia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petunia visits home

Petunia arrived by carriage on Saturday afternoon. Mrs. Evans had been preparing all week for the visit, ordering food from town and organizing all of Petunia's things into neat packages to be taken with her. Mr. Evans, on the contrary, though happy to see his daughter, was in a rather foul mood since Thursday. Lily had complained to Remus more than once about the awkward mix of emotions in the household, and begged for some kind of excuse to get out of supper with her sister and Mr. Dursley. However, Remus disappointed and did not become ill with pneumonia or break his foot, which meant Lily was going to be forced to stay at home. 

The Evans family trio greeted Petunia and her husband at the door. Mr. Dursley was as purple-faced as ever, and Petunia was acting even more high-and-mighty than usual, which Lily did not think was possible. She acted rude and pompous throughout the entire dinner, as if just a few weeks ago she had not risked their good family name and reputation. Things were especially awkward between Mr. Dursley and her father. He could be a frightening man when angered, and Mr. Dursley appeared to have enough sense to not provoke him by speaking. Lily did not speak directly to her sister until she saw her reach over and steal her glass of wine.

"Petunia!" Lily protested. 

"That's Mrs. Dursley to you, Lily," her sister replied, and Lily wondered how long it would take to suffocate her with that ridiculous scarf she was wearing. She looked to her father for help, and he merely shook his head, as if to say "it's not worth it." 

Lily determinedly ignored her sister for the rest of supper, and was successful in doing so until the very end. Petunia was going on and on about how much of a debacle her wedding was ("I wonder why" Lily thought) and how they had somehow lost track of her uncle in the process of getting to church.

"...Uncle was supposed to be our best man, you see, and it was lucky he _did_ show up, or we would have had to ask Mr. Potter and I don't really like him-"

Lily perked up at once and turned to her sister. 

"Mr. Potter?"

Petunia, looking rather like she'd just been caught, put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, I shouldn't have said that..."

"Mr. Potter was at your wedding?"

"He was the one who discovered us," Petunia said, as if this was information Lily should have guessed by now. "He paid for the wedding, Vernon's commission, everything. But don't tell anyone I said anything, he told me not to tell."

Lily was still utterly perplexed, and could only manage to get out the word "Mr. Potter...?"

"Oh hush, Lily. Honestly, Mr. Potter isn't half so high and mighty as you sometimes."

Lily would have retorted that Petunia was the one who was acting high and mighty if she wasn't so in shock. Why on earth would Mr. Potter go to the trouble of paying for Petunia's wedding? He had nothing to gain from it. She'd suspect he wanted recognition, if he hadn't insisted to keep it a secret. It was all so very confusing for Lily to puzzle out, and left her feeling strange all the way through dinner. She did not say goodbye to Mr. Dursley, and Petunia would not allow a hug, so she merely curtsied and retreated back to her room. She decided she would not tell Remus just yet about what she'd heard. She'd been keeping so many secrets from Remus lately and it was starting to get at her, but she'd have to keep just one more this time, for the sake of her sanity if nothing else."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was so short, but the next chapter is going to be much longer so that's why. as always, your comments and kudos are appreciated


	14. Mrs. Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You may only call me "Mrs. Potter" when you are completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy."  
> "And how are you this evening...Mrs. Potter?"

“Did you hear Mr. Black is returning to town?”

Lily looked over at her friend and raised an eyebrow. Remus said it rather casually, and if she hadn’t been standing right next to him she would have missed it entirely.

“Remus…”

“I’m fine, Lily, really. In fact, I’m glad he’s coming back. I can get closure, and then can continue on as acquaintances.”

Lily once again had no choice but to believe her friend, and the thought was put from her mind. She didn’t think of it at all, really, until the following Saturday, when they were lounging in the sitting room with Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Lily read with Remus’s head in her lap as her father wrote a letter and her mother stared out the window.

“Good heavens,” her mother said suddenly. “Is that Mr. Black?”

Lily got up and ran to the window. Mr. Black was there, indeed, walking toward the house with his hat in his hands. She could feel her heart in her throat when she saw Mr. Potter trailing behind him.

“Okay, okay, everyone act naturally,” said Mrs. Evans. Lily rushed to Remus and helped him fix his hair. Her parents ran around the room cleaning things up, and everything seemed total chaos. Of course, when Mr. Black and Mr. Potter walked into the door, what they saw was four people sitting calmly in a clean room. They all stood, and the two gentlemen bowed to them.

“Mr. Black,” Mrs. Evans greeted. “what a lovely surprise. Are you back for the season?”

Sirius looked awfully nervous, and he fidgeted with the hat in his hands. His face was pale and sweaty, and he managed a small, nervous smile.

“Yes, madam, and I’m very glad for it.” He made quick eye contact with Remus. “It’s good to be back.”

“Are you well, Miss Evans?” James asked. The tension in the air was thick, but Lily smiled at him all the same.

“Very well, thank you sir.” Sirius cleared his throat.

“Well. Good day, Miss Evans, Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans. Mr. Lupin.” Everyone made their respective bows and Sirius left the room. James made an apologetic sort of smile.

“Excuse me.”

He followed Sirius out of the room and smacked the back of his head as soon as they were outside and out of sight. That was the most pathetic display James had ever seen. He knew his friend was nervous, but he didn’t think it would be that bad.

“What the hell was that, Padfoot?”

Sirius groaned and buried his face in his hat.

“I don’t know! I was supposed to walk in, and Mrs. Evans was supposed to tell me to sit down-“

“No, no that’s not right at all.”

“Why is this so hard!”

“Sirius, okay, look at me.”  


James placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders and shook him a little bit.

“You are Sirius Black. You once replaced every single door handle at school in a single night. You stole the headmaster’s watch while he was still wearing it. You can do this.”

“I can do this. Okay. Okay, let’s go.”

It was a couple minutes spent in awkward silence until Mr. Black and Mr. Potter were in the room again. Sirius looked a little less nervous this time, though he was still a bit pale. Lily caught James’s eye and he smiled at her and her heart fluttered. Sirius cleared his throat once more and spoke in a rather rushed manner:

“Mr. Lupin, if I may request the honor of speaking to you. Alone.”

Mr. and Mrs. Evans quickly left the room, and Lily gave her friend’s hand a good squeeze before she and Mr. Potter followed them. Of course, Lily and James stayed with their ears pressed to the door, giggling to each other like schoolchildren.

“I can’t believe he’s finally doing it,” Lily whispered. She was smiling so hard it hurt, and she noticed, now that they were up close, that James’s eyes had little gold flecks in them.

“I can’t believe it took him this long,” James agreed with an equally stupid grin on his face.

"Well, I can't say that's entirely his fault," she teased.

"Unfair."

“Shh, I can’t hear anything.”

Inside the room, Sirius had set down his hat and was now nervously wringing his hands. Remus was giving him a strange look, and he really didn’t know how to interpret it. He suddenly doubted himself- what kind of man was he, to completely cut contact and then suddenly come back and propose? Who does that?

“Remus , I…let me start by saying that I’ve been a complete ass.”

“Sirius-“

“I love you. I was an idiot for leaving, I know that, and I know I don’t deserve you. But if you’ll give me a second chance…”

“You love me?” Remus’s eyes were watery as he asked. Sirius gave an uncharacteristically bashful smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I do.”

Remus felt his brain go on autopilot, and wasn’t really sure what he was doing until he felt himself grab Sirius by the lapels of his jacket and pull him into a kiss. Sirius reacted instinctively and placed a gentle hand on Remus’s cheek. It was a sweet kiss, more tender than Sirius was used to from others, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. This was how Remus Lupin kissed, and that was heaven to Sirius.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he said between kisses. It was almost painful to pull away, especially with Remus looking at him like that. “I’ve got to do this properly.” Sirius took Remus’s hand in his own and knelt down on one knee. Remus covered his mouth and tried his hardest not to cry.

“Remus John Lupin. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. A thousand times, yes.” He hauled Sirius to his feet and threw his arms around his neck as they kissed. He was laughing and crying at the same time and hid his face in the crook of Sirius’s shoulder when he heard the door open. He could vaguely hear the words of congratulations as James and Lily came in, but he couldn’t be bothered to listen to what they were saying. He was too happy to care.

Lily found that she couldn’t sleep that night. Maybe it was excitement for Remus, maybe it was anticipation at seeing Mr. Potter again. She really couldn’t be sure, but the cool dawn air felt pleasant on her skin, and the view of the sun over the flowery fields was breathtaking. It was a perfect beginning to a new day- the first full day that her best friend would be engaged. She wondered if it was possible to die of happiness.

It was strange to see Mr. Potter again, to laugh with him and be so close as they listened at the door just yesterday. It was good, she thought, that they were on speaking terms. They could move forward as friends now and leave what happened between them in the past. This was a good thing, really. She and James could just be friends, and that’s it. 

But as Lily saw a figure coming towards her, illuminated by the red sunrise, she knew that she could never be just friends with James Potter. After everything he had done for her, for Remus, for Petunia…it would never be the same. Not after she’d noticed the gold flecks in his eyes and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. And especially not after she saw that it was him walking towards her across the field. He looked beautiful in the golden light of the morning.

He walked up to her unceremoniously, a pleading look on his face that had Lily feeling a sharp pain in her chest. He stared at her for a moment, his mouth open as if he were about to speak. Then, as if shaking himself from a daze, he spoke:

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither could I,” Lily said with a small smile. James brought a hand up to his hair like he always did when he was nervous.

“Sirius was up all night gushing. I thought a walk might do me some good.”

“And did it?”

“Yes. Yes, it very much did. In fact I…I was hoping to see someone who I know is. Rather fond of walking.”

Lily glanced down at her feet in hopes to hide the blush that crept up her cheeks, but James knew better. He stepped forward and caressed her cheek with his knuckles, gently coaxing her to bring her head back up to look at him. Her eyes looked beautiful as ever.

“Mr. Potter, I must thank you for what you did for Remus, and for Petunia.”

“Surely, you must know it was all for you,” he said sincerely, and Lily believed it. He paused for a moment, took his time to study the way her soft skin felt against his hand. “I know you are too generous to trifle with me,” His voice was low, quiet and faintly scratched from the early hours of the morning. “The way we spoke yesterday has taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me forever.”

Lily did not speak. James breathed an inward sigh of relief.

“If, however, your feelings have changed…I would have to tell you. You have bewitched me body and soul and I love. I love, I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” Lily’s eyes began to well with tears, and it hurt James greatly to see it. He immediately began to panic, wondering if he had said something wrong.

“How can you say such things? After I have said such terrible things to you, after the pain I caused you before I even knew you?”

James, relieved, brough his other hand to cradle the back of her head as he wiped her tears with the other.

“I was the cause of my own pain. It was my rudeness, my pride that caused all this. Please say you’ll forgive me.”

Lily gave a mirthful laugh and sniffed.

“You’re entirely forgiven.”

“Miss Evans…I must ask you. Will you end my suffering? Will you marry me?”

Lily placed her hand over James’s wrist and looked up at him earnestly.

“I will.”

Their second kiss was much different from their first. It was more tender, more loving. Not being stuck in the rain helped. They took their time, held in their own little bubble for just a few minutes. It was James who broke it, insisted they get out of the cold. He was right, of course, but Lily had to steal one more kiss first.

She paced outside her father’s study for what felt like hours. Remus, of course, was there for moral support, but it didn’t make the time pass any faster. Lily explained everything to him- everything except for his convincing Sirius to leave, that is. He was hesitant, at first, but he came around when he saw how happy Lily was.

At long last, James emerged from the study. He looked like a complete wreck, and Lily hoped it was the fact that he had been up all night and not anything her father had said to him. He bowed to Remus and gave Lily a silent, pleading look. She placed a hand on his cheek affectionately before going into the study.

“Shut the door, please, Lillian,” her father said with an air of politeness. Then, once it was closed: “Lily, are you out of your senses? I thought you hated the man.”

“No, Papa.”

“He’s rich, to be sure, and you will have more fine carriages than Remus. But will that make you happy?”

“Have you no other objection than your belief in my indifference?”

“None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of fellow. But this would be nothing if you really liked him.”

“I do like him,” she took her father’s hands in her own and smiled. “I love him. He’s not proud, I was wrong. I was entirely wrong about him. You don’t know him, Papa. If I told you what he was really like, what he’s done..”

Her father fixed her with a look of keen interest and leaned forward in his chair.

“What has he done?”

Lily explained it all- Mr. Snape, Remus, Petunia, everything. She watched her father’s face slowly change as the story went on. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and took a long moment before he finally spoke.

“Good lord. I must pay him back.”

“No, you mustn’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t want it. We misjudged him, papa. Me more than anyone in every way. Not just in this matter. I’ve been nonsensical. But he’s been a fool about, about Remus, and about so many other things. But then, so have I. You see, he and I are…he and I are so similar. We’re both so stubborn. Papa, I…” Her father gave a sad smile and patted her hands.

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

“Very much.”

“I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you. But it seems I am overruled. So I heartily give my consent.”

Lily lunged forward and wrapped her father in a tight hug. He chuckled and patted her back, but there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

“I could not have parted with you, my dear Lily, to anyone less worthy.”

The two of them sat in front of lake at twilight, watching the lanterns reflect on the surface of the water. Lily was comfortably nestled between James’s legs, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She idly ran her fingers along his hands and scattered kisses along his skin. She could feel the vibrations in his chest as he hummed.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said after a while.

“A dangerous pastime,” Lily teased. James placed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I don’t think I can call you “Miss Evans” anymore.”

“Hmm. I suppose not.”

“Any suggestions?”

Lily looked up at him and scrunched her face up, as if deep in thought. James laughed at the expression and kissed her nose.

“Let me think…”Lily” for everyday. “My Flower” for Sundays, and…”Goddess Divine,” but only on _very_ special occasions.”

“And…what should I call you when I’m cross? “Mrs. Potter”?”

Lily smiled and traced a circle along his forearm.

“No! No. You may only call me “Mrs. Potter” when you are completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy.” James shifted himself to give her a gentle kiss, and murmured against her lips:

“And how are you this evening…Mrs. Potter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you so much for reading this story, I really hope you enjoyed it.


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